It’s my party and I’ll have fun if I want to

Have you ever had this happen…a friend calls you up to invite you over for a get together. You would love to go but the challenge of a long drive, late hours, and lack of accessibility makes the decision for you. You politely decline but inside feel miserable because you realize how limiting your life has become.

There are times when having a disability is a great thing because you have an excuse to decline an invitation to a party you have no interest in going to or a reason to not help a friend move the furniture in their house. But it’s sad when you can’t join in on something you really want to be a part of.

Life changes with MS…which sucks. You find yourself making decisions based on how difficult it is to climb the stairs rather than on whether you have to pick up a gift and a platter of food on the way. The depression that weights on you can be hard to deal with and even overwhelming at times. It’s not an easy thing to come to terms with.

At this time of year it can become extra hard because you see people going out enjoying the holidays, spending time together shopping…doing all the able-bodied things people do that you are no longer capable of doing. It seems the winter months have this way of ushering in a sadness along with the cold and the snow. I’ve felt it myself at times. It can become overwhelming if you allow your thoughts to rule the day and slip into the “why me” places.

I know it’s hard, but try and find something good in the chaos. When you have to stay home, choose to have your own party in your PJs. Even if it’s a party all by yourself, have it anyway. Don’t let the fact that you can’t go somewhere get you down.

I have a party box filled with puzzles, colored pencils, coloring books, games, legos…all those creative things I played with as a kid. I pull it out and have fun. Strangely, it’s quite therapeutic and helps me to pass the time without turning the evening into a pity party. I like my PJ parties so much better. 

So the next time you have to decline a friends invite, put on some festive PJs, make some hot cocoa and pull out your party box.

I gotta go now. I have some new Play-Doh waiting to be turned into something amazing. I think I’ll mold an alien with googly eyes and spiky hair.

MS Gets on My NervesMS WarriorMS Superhero  

About the Author
About the Author
Penelope Conway

Penelope Conway
Penelope started Positive Living with MS as a way to help others with MS stay positive in the midst of a terrible disease. She believes that staying positive and holding onto hope is the key to waking up each morning with the strength to get through the day. Multiple Sclerosis may never go away, but neither will her determination and her drive to help others through the journey.

26 replies
  1. Thera Lopez says:

    Thank you for writing this. The “party box” is a great idea. After turning down dozens of invitations over the past few months, I’ve noticed the invites are getting fewer and fewer. I need to put together a party box of my own!

  2. Rodger Ashton-Smith
    Rodger Ashton-Smith says:

    I know what you mean Penelope. Having to go out even shopping is a great challenge for me as I have to use my wheelchair for that purpose and someone has to drive me and push me around as I can’t go far by myself. After a long time I have had to give up driving and that was hard to decide but I can understand why.However it puts the load on those who care for you and makes you make ‘funny’ decisions about what you do.

  3. Christine O
    Christine O says:

    This message is very timely and I really like Carla’s comment about enjoying things our way – different but still good. Off to put on some Xmas songs 🙂

  4. Carla Broadbent Rogers
    Carla Broadbent Rogers says:

    I put on a radio station with Christmas music 24/7 till Christmas. Have some cinnamon oil in a pot simmering on the stove. My Christmas baking has been reduced to a few batches of cookies to give to a few close friends. I still do Christmas cards. The cooler weather is better for me. I have changed MS to mean Mighty Special, because you all are. Be well and enjoy the Holidays Your Way.

  5. Sabina Kon says:

    Yeah with me is sth similar with my job-I lead English classes in some companies and before starting with new group in a new place, I always ask the same set of questions-is there a parking space for the disabled, what floor is the office, is there maye a lift? If the answer is negative one I resign from taking such group.

  6. Dianne
    Dianne says:

    My problem is i keep going!!! I need to slow down and feel ok with declining. This trying to keep up is exhausting me and actually starting to negatively affect my health. Having my own party sounds wonderful. I think I will try that! Thanks.

  7. Beatrix Huber says:

    Yep. 🙁 Unfortunately with me it’s the hour of day, b/c incontinence (bowel probs, not bladder) doesn’t allow me to go places before noon, unless I don’t eat and drink there. 🙁 And like you said… accessability, even background noise. Or one friend wants to walk her dog with me, I’m just not fast like that anymore. So my circle of friends became smaller and smaller. 🙁 The more I’m delighted to have my MSer online friends. They understand, are always there, and are easy to catch up with. 🙂

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