There’s a hole in my bucket

The world is good at pointing out what’s wrong with our lives. If you’re anything like me, you have buckets full of mistakes that can be pulled out at any time to show how imperfect you really are. The only problem is, my bucket leaks.

It is impossible to go through life without making mistakes. You can’t do it and neither can I. One thing you can count on is that you will mess up. You will make wrong choices. You will disappoint people and even disappoint yourself. Failure is normal. I don’t know why we try to cover it up and hide away our flaws and mistakes. Being less than perfect is just a part of being human.

To the world, our MS body is a failure. The nerves in our brain and spine have chosen to fail us causing difficulties we would rather not have. The mistake our body makes in destroying myelin is not our mistake. Don’t, even for a moment, think you have done something to deserve MS or that you have caused it yourself, because you haven’t.

No matter what happens today, don’t listen to that lying voice. You are not your body’s weakness. That is just part of the packaging you have to work with. Mine just so happens to be pieced together with duct tape and super glue at the moment. It seems to be working at holding things together for now, but I know there will come a day when even the duct tape will fail me.

Count each day you get through as a victory. You have had victory after victory already. Today will be another one. You may be bruised and limping crossing the finish line as the sun goes down, but you are going to make it.

Instead of focusing today on the things you can’t do, look at what you can. Take a break from the pressure the world puts on you to be perfect and simply be you…and never give up.

MS Gets on My NervesMS WarriorMS Superhero  

About the Author
About the Author
Penelope Conway

Penelope Conway
Penelope started Positive Living with MS as a way to help others with MS stay positive in the midst of a terrible disease. She believes that staying positive and holding onto hope is the key to waking up each morning with the strength to get through the day. Multiple Sclerosis may never go away, but neither will her determination and her drive to help others through the journey.

16 replies
  1. Aileen Brown says:

    I’ve asked Santa for a new hip (osteoarthritis) and new legs and feet which is definitely my leaky bucket can deal with rest and haven’t been a naughty girl this year – not because I’m that good just not able to he naughty lol

  2. Rodger Ashton-Smith
    Rodger Ashton-Smith says:

    I am on an anti-depression that helps me stop my medication affecting me. So saying this I have a good outlook on life generally. I try not to focus on the negativity of situations but out what they can help, not hinder, me. Don’t be afraid to try something new if it may help, talk about it and get a good view of it.

  3. Julie Dunham
    Julie Dunham says:

    Thank you for your positive outlook on this crazy life. I am having a hard time dealng with all the holes in my bucket lately.

  4. Linda Krupa Quinion O'Connell
    Linda Krupa Quinion O'Connell says:

    Good morning Penelope! Don’t feel too bad today. I have a question for you. Some one told me that as time goes by your ms gets to be so overpowering that you might commit suicide or have bad thoughts of doing it. Is that true? It just seems so scary. Have a great day!

    • Penelope Conway
      Penelope Conway says:

      Linda, that is true of any disease whether it’s MS, cancer, ALS, arthritis, etc. It’s also true of major life changes such as the death of a loved one, divorce, financial burdens etc. What you have to be aware of are your feelings. Are you depressed? Not just sad, but do you have tendencies toward harming yourself? You know when you get to feeling that way whether you acknowledge it or not. We are all aware if we are sad all the time or joyful. If so, see your doctor and they can prescribe medication to help. It’s not weakness to talk with a doctor about depression. Depression is real. What I do myself is try to find things good to think about, to do things out of the house if I’m able, to get out of bed…sometimes, just getting out of bed and getting myself dressed can make a big difference. But it all comes down to what you are constantly thinking about. Are you always thinking about the pain, disability, lack of friends, medical bills, etc…? Or are you thinking about how amazing it is to have a new day to experience something new like the sun coming up or the laughter of a child or the love from a friend? Keep your thoughts grounded and in a place of positivity. And just so you know, I am an extremely positive person…always have been, but I take an anti-depressant because I have found without it I cry at the drop of a hat for no reason at all. They keep me balanced. Don’t worry about tomorrow or about what someone else has experienced or told you. Focus on yourself and keeping your thoughts positive throughout the day…even when it’s raining. 🙂 xoxo

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