Most people don’t wake up one day and decide, “Hey, I want to be needy.” I’m sure you’ve had a friend at some point over the years that drained you emotionally, if not financially as well as in other ways, by being too dependent on you…too needy. And since you’ve personally felt the exhaustion and weariness that kind of neediness carries with it, you have determined to not be that person.
You may have even made a personal vow to keep your problems, emotions and financial needs to yourself. You don’t want to be THAT person…the one who drains the energy out of others. You don’t want to be a burden.
Can I share with you a little bit from my heart?
We were born with needs and will always have needs. We need one another to help us through, not just the fun times but the bad as well. It’s okay to admit a need. It’s actually healthy. We were never meant to be self-sufficient, do it by myself, never ask for help people.
When you need help…it’s okay to admit that need. That’s why we have people in our life, whether they are family or friends, that are there to support us, stand with us, help us, strengthen us, and hold us up when we don’t have the strength to stand by ourself.
Don’t shut people out simply because you have a need. The world is full of broken people who remain that way all because they can’t admit they need help. One thing Multiple Sclerosis has done in my life is forced me to lay down my pride. And when I say forced, I really mean that. It has forced me to admit I have needs.
I can’t get through my day without help from others. Over time I have discovered that my needs are not the burden I assumed they were. Sure, I don’t want to have needs…no one does. I don’t like the fact that I can’t function without help. That’s the ugly side of MS. That’s the part no one likes to talk about.
Sure, it’s great telling others that MS isn’t really all that bad and that being positive is all you need, but as the disease progresses and your functionality decreases you begin to experience the disabling things that no one is really talking about.
The times when you poop in your pants and pee on yourself all because you couldn’t get to the bathroom in time, then spent the rest of the day cleaning it all up…exhausted and weary. Or the times when your breathing scares you as you gasp for air uncertain as to whether you will be able get through the next few seconds without choking. Or when the pain is so overwhelming you don’t even have the strength to cry.
Those are the ugly things people don’t talk much about. And that’s just a few of the things that happen with MS. It’s important to acknowledge the struggle and talk about the hard stuff instead of stuffing everything inside and thinking you are being a burden. You are not a burden. You are a person living with MS who has a need. And it’s okay to have needs.
MS is ugly. It’s hard. It’s nasty. It’s disabling. And you…you are a person with a progressive disease who has a need, and it’s okay to have needs. I wish more people would talk about the struggle so the world could understand that MS isn’t the smiling face walking to raise money for research. It’s so much more than that. So much more.