When your world falls apart

So many times we go through life struggling with the feeling that we are all alone in the heartache and pain we are facing. Even someone surrounded by a sea of people can feel completely alone and broken. That seems impossible, but it happens. I know because I’ve felt that way myself more times than I can count.

Feeling emotionally spent, isolated and completely useless is one of the worst things a person can face in life. At different stages of progression with MS, it’s easy to find yourself in some of those lonely and broken places. Those places cause a type of emotional stress that becomes overwhelming, and sometimes happen simply because you want those you love the most to not have to see you struggle or be hurt by the pain you yourself are experiencing.

Because we are the ones dealing with the emotional pain of living with a chronic illness, we feel it deep…really deep. We know the inner struggle, the burden, and the pain that MS causes. It can sometimes become too much for our own hearts to bear.

And because we know that pain oh so well, we don’t want others to have to go through the suffering along with us. Not because we are selfish, but because we want to spare them from being hurt. We would rather we were the only ones having to feel the things we feel, think the things we think, and to go through the things we go through.

But in our desire for others to not be hurt…we end up hurting them. It’s not intentional. It’s not anything we want to happen, but it happens. It’s a domino effect that can’t be stopped unless we change the dominos and lay out a different path for them to follow.

I never thought I would quote Marilyn Monroe, but she once said, “Good things fall apart so better things can fall into place.” You are going to have times when you feel as if your world is falling apart and that no one understands you. When that happens, it’s important to allow people into your life to help you so you don’t have to go through it all by yourself. Even the bravest of the brave, the strongest of the strong, the mightiest of the mighty need help.

Life can change minute by minute which means that sadness can happen, but so can happiness. Happiness can happen at any given moment. Appreciate the things you have right now. Realize that you are an amazing person (even when you don’t feel like it). Be grateful, cry if you have too, smile when you can, and most importantly, let people in to your crazy broken world to help.

Your happiness and quality of life depend upon it.

MS Gets on My NervesMS WarriorMS Superhero  

About the Author
About the Author
Penelope Conway

Penelope Conway
Penelope started Positive Living with MS as a way to help others with MS stay positive in the midst of a terrible disease. She believes that staying positive and holding onto hope is the key to waking up each morning with the strength to get through the day. Multiple Sclerosis may never go away, but neither will her determination and her drive to help others through the journey.

17 replies
  1. Kellie
    Kellie says:

    This article is amazing. Amazing and perfect.
    My brother is feeling lately he has no reason to live, he told me that this week.
    He’s pushing people close to him away. (Not me, but other family) and I know he is struggling with all he is feeling. Pushing them away so they don’t have to hurt but they are all hurting. He just sobbed to me this week. He’s only 53, can’t see, can’t walk, in a nursing home and ugh. This disease sucks. I’m so thankful to have found this website!

  2. JohnConnie Iverson says:

    Asking for help, even from those closest to me, is often more difficult than dealing with my daily struggles of MS! I hate giving into this part of my MS, but if I don’t, I know am hurting myself first, and then consequently I’m hurting those who love me most! Even after 32 years, it’s a struggle and a delicate balance! Giving myself permission to let someone else help me when I physically can no longer do what I used to, does not mean I’m no longer useful! Because MS has taken so much from us, we must accept that, and in doing so, we remain the “strong” person we always have been!

  3. Rodger Ashton-Smith
    Rodger Ashton-Smith says:

    I am so grateful the people I’m around don’t treat me like an ‘invalid’ but someone who is making it good for themselves and treat me as human being. The mainly music people are good to deal with. I had one of the little ones use me as a center point an ran around me. She didn’t like it when I could follow her around so she gave up on it, but still had to tell hr mum what she had been doing. So it’s all good fun.
    We need others to help us s much as they need us. This is someway towards a new normal I wrote about earlier.

  4. Kat Doiron
    Kat Doiron says:

    Oh, I am there right now. The MS leaves me fatigued to start with, and on top of that, I’ve been sick for the past ten days – some viral thing that’s allowing my body to create and expel copious amounts of mucus. I’m barely sleeping, so now I’m exhausted and fatigued. I’m tired of asking others to do things for me. I know that the exhaustion has me in a bad place emotionally right now, but I just want someone to care enough to offer without me having to ask when it’s obvious I’m not doing well and need help. I guess I, too, am ‘down in the dumps’ today…. except I feel as though I’d have to crawl ‘up’ to be there. If I were robbed at gunpoint today, I’d refuse whatever they were asking in hopes of being put out of my misery.

  5. Christine Moran
    Christine Moran says:

    You do it every time. You write exactly what I need to hear. Thank you so much Penelope. I always share what you say with my family andxthis one in particular is so appropriate.

  6. Nancy
    Nancy says:

    How is it that you know when to write about our dilemmas? Just last Wednesday my doctor told me she thinks I am progressing from RRMS to SPMS. I’m sure my family has noticed over the past year that my “symptoms” are getting worse but to try to explain my fears just brings me to tears. And I don’t want them to worry. I guess I better talk to them. Thank you for the encouragement. I will talk to them when I get my next MRI scheduled. Thank you for listening to us, too. I am pretty down in the dumps today.

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