My biggest pet peeve is people who say one thing and then either do the exact opposite or nothing at all. I’m finding it harder and harder to believe what people say and that they will do what they say they will do…unless they are getting a paycheck in return (and even then it’s not always true).
It’s sad really. As my health declines, my circle of friends decrease with it. It seems that happens to everyone I talk to when it comes to living with a chronic illness. It’s easy to commit to helping someone for a month or two, but anything longer than that becomes a burden and people find other things to take up their time.
When did society stop caring for the sick? It’s easy for someone to post a status saying how much they care about others or to share a picture of sunshine and roses to say have a great day, but to actually get their hands dirty and physically do something is waining. You just don’t see that much anymore.
People seem to want recognition by the masses, press coverage and plaques of achievement to hang on their wall to show off their accomplishments. I’m just sitting here at home needing my trash taken out and can offer a hug in return. Not much. But a hug will last longer than any 15 minutes of fame. After all, a hug is eternal.
I am pretty good at faking being okay for a few hours if someone where to stop by to visit or I needed to go to the store. Make-up and hairspray does wonders. But come live with me for just a day and you would see how tough life actually is.
Don’t just assume because we are silent, we are okay. Most of the time we get tired of always asking people for help and getting excuses in return that we simply quit asking. Sure, you can fault us for that. We should be more persistent in voicing our needs. But the flip side to that is when we are persistent, we get a defensive response that basically becomes a “sorry, I’m busy” reply.
My advice. Hang onto those that have proven their word time and time again. Shower them with thanks and gratitude as often as you can so they know their work and help is needed, valued and appreciated. Get creative and come up with a back-up plan for all the others that disappoint you.
I’ve had to do that more than I can count. I have those “maybe-they-will-keep-their-word” friends and have learned to not really hold tight to their commitments. It makes for lots of disappointments, but I’ve learned to shrug them off each time because I don’t keep high expectations any longer when it comes to them anyway.
Never let other people’s actions keep you from knowing how incredible you really are. You truly are an amazing person. You may be living with an incurable, unrelenting, horrible disease, but you are AWESOME!