Shoes have always been my favorite thing to shop for. I would get so excited when I found a style I liked and the store had my size. I’m tall, over six foot, but I never limited my shoes by the size of the heel. I simply embraced my tallness and proudly stood a little taller in a beautiful pair of heels.
Sadly, heels are something I can no longer wear. For one, an AFO brace won’t fit inside a fancy dress shoe. I wear one on each ankle to keep my feet and toes from dragging the ground as I attempt to take a step. And secondly, you’d be amazed how uncomfortable it is to wear a pair of heels while sitting in a wheelchair.
That wasn’t something I thought of in the past. I always thought I’d be stylin’ wearing a pair of heels in a wheelchair. But now that I use a chair, the reality of me wearing heels just isn’t wisdom. I’d be more likely to twist my ankle transferring to and from the chair by misstepping or my foot would unknowingly slip off the foot rest as I’m wheeling down the sidewalk and I’d hurt myself. I surely don’t need any more unnecessary scrapes and bruises.
I made the decision a few years ago to clean out my closet and get rid of all shoes that weren’t practical for me. It was a bittersweet moment seeing bags of shoes leaving out the front door to never return again. I felt like a part of me was being ripped away, but I knew it was the right thing to do.
For me, those shoes were a part of my past life. One tiny part that I was trying desperately to hold onto, yet something I knew I needed to leave behind. It was liberating to finally break down and give them all away.
There comes a time in each of our lives when we need to recognize the changes happening around us for what they are and embrace them. It’s not wrong to embrace change, even if it’s seemingly bad change.
I think in life we hold onto way too much…the good, the bad and the ugly. We know we need to let things go, but we don’t. Maybe the reason we do that is because we’ve grown comfortable with it hanging around. I know I still catch myself holding onto things that I shouldn’t keep around.
What is it that’s stopping me from letting them go? Why do I hold onto emotions, thoughts, dreams and even people that are doing me no good when all it takes is a decision to turn things around? A decision to stop carrying the emotional weights that come along with a chronic illness and a crazy, mixed up world. A decision to walk away from drama filled people and situations. I know it’s not an easy decision to make, but it is so freeing and well worth it when you get to the place of being able to simply let them go.
And don’t pack things up so you can store them away to use again in the future. Pack them up and let them go. It’s okay if you need to do it little bits at a time. Even a little bit is better than not at all.
You are too important and too beautiful to let your thoughts, emotions, feelings or others hold you back. Let them go then spread your wings and fly. Be the beautiful butterfly that you are.