Chaos to someone living with Multiple Sclerosis is different than chaos to a healthy person. Our kind of chaos includes a world of broken nerves hidden deep inside our bodies. The only problem is that there seems to be a sign posted at the entrance to this grand attraction that reads “No admittance to the general public.”
We have no way of showing people the latest expedition or the mammoth death-defying rides that exist here, complete with loop-de-loops and upside-down rails. We try to explain how they feel and what they look like—those weird moments when the walls begin to move and the sidewalks trip us up—but somehow our explanations of what is happening in our world is met with disbelief, blank stares and “it can’t be that bad” statements. But, you see, it can be and it is.
Our world is alive and constantly changing from one day to the next, and sometimes minute by minute. Today, the carpet may be our friend and tomorrow it may choose to wrestle us to the ground. Gravity does its best to drag us down to its level and inanimate objects are constantly rearranging themselves at will, trying their best to trip us up. But we are valiant warriors and we refuse to let them win.
I know it’s hard to believe that such a place could exist, but it does. And when the world of MS collided with the rest of the world, BAM! A new chaos was created that even we have a hard time figuring out.
It’s not easy navigating through two different worlds at once, but we do it every day. Our days are filled with trap doors, boobytraps and earthquakes that spring up out of nowhere. When the sun sets and our day is over, we discover that we have accomplished more than most people do at the end of their day because we have not only navigated through impossible obstacles and overcome death defying feats, but we have kept ourselves from destruction.
Our mission each day is simply to get through all that’s in front of us. Our journey is long. Step by step, moment by moment, day by day, we survive. Nothing will stop us. We are warriors…so we fight!