I watched the sun come up this morning. Not because I woke up early. Not because I had tickets to a front row seat at the Sunrise Theatre. Not because my schedule happens to be so busy that it requires an early morning wake-up call. Not even because I snored so loud that I woke myself up. No, I watched the sun come up because I never went to sleep in the first place.
I tried though. Really, I did. I got in bed last night around 9:30 PM. I lay there yawning and yawning, tossing and turning. I actually yawned so much that I had to keep wiping my eyes due to the amount of tears they were creating. I even wound up taking something to help me get to sleep in hopes that I would nod off since my body was so exhausted. But nothing worked.
I watched the hours tick by…
I hate nights like that.
There’s no reason for me to have not slept either. I did have a few unexpected muscle spasms that sent my body jolting in different direction, but I’m normally able to work my way through those without too much trouble. Isn’t it weird how we learn to cope with some of the craziest symptoms as if that’s normal for everybody?
I’m downing some coffee as I write this hoping that it will keep me functioning enough to get through the day. I know my yawns will be frequent, my thoughts will be jumbled, my body will be weaker, but it’s okay because I know I will have another chance to sleep tonight. It’s even possible I will be able to get a short nap in later in the day to help push me through.
One thing’s for sure, I’m exhausted today. Exhausted but thankful that I have a today to get through. It may not the be best day. It may be far from perfect. It may be filled with struggles, pain, frustrations and weariness. But it also has the possibility of bringing with it smiles, laughter, hope and strength.
I’m going to look for those things. I’m going to look for the good. It may be hiding under the bills on the counter or in the laundry basket down the hall, but I’m going to find something about today that makes me smile.
Oh, look. I just saw a deer…no, two deer…walking through my back yard. How sweet. They even paused for a minute to look at me through the window as I’m sitting here on the couch. See, I’ve already found a smile and the sun is still waking up. It’s going to be a good day!