Who are your friends

Who are your friends?

It’s important to value your friends. But who are your friends in the first place?

If the person you call friend makes excuses every time you ask for their help but is always pulling at you when they need something, then you are wasting your time on that friendship and should maybe take a step back to reevaluate things. You should be there for one another. That’s what makes friendship so special. To me, a friend means that the person will be with you through thick and thin…both the good and the bad.

Online, it sounds cool to say, “I have 1,200 friends.” I have even heard people bragging about how many friends they have on Twitter and Facebook alone. But those aren’t friends. I think a better word to describe them would be contacts, but that doesn’t sound as appealing, does it?

We have a tendency to confuse friends with contacts. We find it cold to say acquaintance, colleague or even comrade, so we choose to call everyone our friends. Because of this, the word friend has lost its importance…its value. I have learned that only a few people will truly become your friend. These are kindred spirits that last even when times get tough.

True friendships don’t just happen and they aren’t maintenance free. They take work and they build over time. Sadly when a chronic illness comes into the picture, all those people we thought were friends disappear. I think losing friends should be added to the symptoms of each chronic illness out there because it happens every time.

Maybe friends leave because we require more support. Maybe it’s because we are no longer able to go and do as freely as we did in times past. Maybe it’s because the realness of life is too much for them to face. But regardless of why, if they walk away, they weren’t real friends to begin with. Let them walk.

Someone has said that if you can count your true friends on the fingers of one hand, don’t take them for granted and if you can count them on one finger you are truly blessed. The tough times can’t break true friends apart or tear them down, it strengthens the bond and deepens the roots of friendship.

Do you have a friend like that? Someone that, even if you fall flat on your face, they will offer a helping hand to pull you back up and dust you off; someone who will smile with you, laugh with you and cry with you; someone that holds your heart with the most gentle of care knowing how fragile it truly is; someone that will stand beside you when everyone else has walked away?

Don’t let another day go by without thanking them for being a friend…a true friend. Don’t let another hour, minute or second go by without doing something to show them just how much you appreciate that they are your friend. Send them a letter, an email, or give them a call to just say, “Thanks for being my friend.”

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About the Author
About the Author
Penelope Conway

Penelope Conway
Penelope started Positive Living with MS as a way to help others with MS stay positive in the midst of a terrible disease. She believes that staying positive and holding onto hope is the key to waking up each morning with the strength to get through the day. Multiple Sclerosis may never go away, but neither will her determination and her drive to help others through the journey.

29 replies
  1. Aileen Brown says:

    I couldn’t agree more I have always only had a few friends and all but one is still here I have loads of people I know and like but wouldn’t class them as friends and most of my friendships are years old – we have been through a lot together – good bad and absolutely fabulous

  2. Rodger Ashton-Smith
    Rodger Ashton-Smith says:

    This seems to be a problem for many who take seriously if they are defriended on Facebook or any other media.It seems that is the only way for them to make ‘friends’.
    Making good friends takes time and work, just like marriages I guess.

  3. SARAH
    SARAH says:

    THIS POST CAME AT A PERFECT TIME WITHIN THE LAST YEAR I REALIZED I’M THE ONLY ONE I HAVE MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS CANT EXCEPT IT, AND BECAUSE I HAVE AND GAINED MORE RESPECT FOR MYSELF, I MAY HAVE LOST EVERYONE BUT I FINALLY KNOW WHO I AM:)

  4. David James Gibson says:

    It’s been the most unexpected aspect of disability. I don’t believe I ever knew a ‘disabled’ person growing up so this is a first for us, but well documented on the internet.

  5. Russell Baker says:

    I agree. Let them walk. It’s important to surround myself with realists. I undetstand why they can’t. I empathize. It’s like moving all over the place as a child. I learned that everybody has a time, and or a place in your life. I don’t get too attached. Each stage in life no matter, has it’s losses. Unfortunately it’s sort of an ongoing process. Must have some deeper meaning attached, but I’ll soon be accused of rambling. Hugs!

  6. Margo mckay
    Margo mckay says:

    I think it’s fear of reality with most people, they message you and say we miss you, at work, at that certain night out, that party etc etc. So my advice to them is well if you missed me why don’t you come and visit me, my house is always an open house come anytime. The kettles on.

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