If you could see my insides, you would see scar after scar after scar. I guess it makes sense that Multiple Sclerosis actually means Multiple Scars. You see, the nerves in my brain and spine have been chewed to bits…literally. Because of that, some of my nerves are short-circuiting and signals are getting crossed causing terrible chaos in my life. I guess you could say I’m a real live wire.
I have some nerves with such extensive damage that repair cannot be made. In their place now exists a black hole. A scar so deep that nothing could ever live there again. If you took the time to learn of my scars, you would hear about what life is like for me. You would hear of the pain I endure, the way my brain confuses thoughts and words, how my tired is different than most people’s tired, and how parts of my body have gone numb and lost their ability to function.
But do you know what else you would hear? You would hear about how strong I am and how at the end of the day, I’m still standing (even if only on the inside). I won’t quit even though I’m covered in battle scars. Those scars are my story…they are my life.
You may see me and think how amazing I look with the smile I wear or the cute outfit I have on, but if you took the time to really get to know me, you would see my insides and realize that my pain is real and that there’s beauty in my scars.
I may not be able to do the things you do because my wiring is a jumbled mess, but just because you can’t see what’s happening inside my body doesn’t mean it’s not there. I wake up each day to a fight…a war. Not one that I chose, but one I must endure. At times I am battle weary, but I will never be a quitter and I will never lay down my sword. I’m a warrior that way.
My scars are laid out like a constellation visible by an MRI. They shine bright even though they are hidden in the dark. When I pause to look at the stars in the nighttime sky, I see amazing beauty as I watch the lights twinkle and glow. But did you know stars are just broken pieces of matter? They are the scars of the universe. And yet even though they are caused by tragedy, they give hope to millions.
Today your sword may be heavy and your body tired…but you will go on. Each step that you take is a victory. Each muscle you move is a triumph. No mater what the day holds, you will not be defeated. You are a winner covered in scars bringing hope to others without your even knowing it. If I can endure, if I can keep going, if I can hold on…then I know you can too. Together we create an amazing display of sparkles in the universe. Together we shine.