Every day I wake up to a fight with Multiple Sclerosis. Most days I have the strength to come up swinging, even on the days I can’t get out of bed. MS has definitely thrown me some curve balls and sucker punches over the years.
But some days it seems as if MS gets the upper hand as it blindsides me with a blow I wasn’t expecting. Today is one of those days. It’s a day of tremors, fatigue, memory fog and pain. I made a mess of things changing out my urine bag, slipped transferring from my bed to my wheelchair (I’m sure new bruises will appear because of it) and over boiled my coffee in the microwave while heating it up for the umpteenth time. Oh, and did I mention I forgot to shut the water off in the sink and it overflowed? Yeah, I did that too. All in the first hour of my day.
Yet even on my worst days—those times when I feel as if I’m losing the fight—I have strength. Not because I’m a super MS warrior, but because deep down inside I have determined that MS is not going to seize the day. I have decided I won’t quit or wave the white flag of defeat. I may be weak, I may struggle, I may get overwhelmed, I may even shed some tears, but I will not be defeated.
This war we are in called a life with Multiple Sclerosis is filled with many daily battles. Some of those battles are easy and some can be extremely hard to near impossible. Some days MS wins, but many days I win.
When you are at your lowest and feel so bad that you’re ready to throw your hands up in surrender; when you don’t have the strength to punch, jab or even make a fist; when you become overwhelmed by how hard your body has to work to do even the simplest of things; take the much needed time to rest. You don’t have to stay in the heat of the battle every minute of every day. There is a difference in resting and quitting.
If you’re anything like me, sitting around doing nothing can make you feel unproductive and at times useless, but don’t let the fact that you need down time be your defeating moment. There is no shame in taking a break, a time out or even a nap on the floor as you wait to get the strength needed to pull yourself back up!
Sometimes just a few hours are all that’s needed to get the strength to keep going, other times you need days, but regardless of the time you need…take it and give yourself a break. No more guilt for stepping away to rest.
Don’t let today get the best of you. Take a deep breath and calm the thoughts that are racing through your mind. You may be weary and battle worn, but you are not defeated. Remember, even the best of warriors need to rest. Just don’t quit.