You are not a burden

You may not believe me when I tell you this, but you are not a burden just because you need help. There are people in this world who truly love you. Sometimes you may not feel as if that could be true, but it is. You are loved, lovable and lovely.

Please don’t give up on the life that’s in front of you because the struggle has grown too big or the fight has become too great. I understand that multiple sclerosis makes life hard and can sometimes even cause such terrible pain that you find yourself unable to see how anything in life could ever be good again, but it can. Good times do happen and you have many more ahead to experience. You can’t give up now.

Sometimes the seemingly simple task of just getting out of bed is an act of courage, but I believe you can find the strength needed to push through those tearful times, pull back the covers and take a step onto the cold, hard floor of life.

No one hates multiple sclerosis more than those of us living with it. It’s hard to explain a need and why that need exists when the person you are talking to can’t physically see the struggle you are facing, but it’s important to at least try. Opening your heart up like that can be a scary thing. After all, you are sharing a weakness and need with someone hoping they will handle it with care and support. That doesn’t always happen, but it’s important to try.

It’s humbling to deal with having a need, but here it is, and here you are: resilient, courageous and brave. Did you notice the word “burden” anywhere in there? No. That’s because you aren’t a burden, you have a burden which by definition is something too heavy to carry alone. You aren’t a burden any more than you are MS.

Be kind to yourself. Be patient when you feel as if you’re drowning in a sea of emotions and pain. Be honest when you are overwhelmed. And never, ever, ever believe that you are a burden to others…because you are not.

I promise you that you will get through today. You will find your smile again. Don’t lose hope and don’t ever underestimate the value of your worth…even with a disability.

MS Gets on My NervesMS WarriorMS Superhero  


About the Author
About the Author
Penelope Conway

Penelope Conway
Penelope started Positive Living with MS as a way to help others with MS stay positive in the midst of a terrible disease. She believes that staying positive and holding onto hope is the key to waking up each morning with the strength to get through the day. Multiple Sclerosis may never go away, but neither will her determination and her drive to help others through the journey.

40 replies
  1. Rodger Ashton-Smith
    Rodger Ashton-Smith says:

    I am feeling like a burden when I am told “it’s too heavy to lift the wheelchair” by the person you love and it’s not her speaking but the PTSD rearing it’s ugly head. This is a problem WE have had to deal with. It’s raining hard outside and a bit of flooding so I don’t want to go out there now, but when it stops and becomes fine I will want to go out but it is difficult for everyone as our place is not too wheelchair friendly and that is a hard road to go down.

    Reply
  2. Lola Hale says:

    It is hard not to feel that way sometimes. I see my capabilities diminishing but the way my hubby Paul steps in to help cover and cope with what I have lost is very humbling ❤ xxx

    Reply
    • Jeanne
      Jeanne says:

      oh how I truly understand how you feel. I’ve had multiple sclerosis for a long time but in the past 6 months it is getting worse and worse and I see myself every single summer not being able to do the things I did for summer before I have family that really could care less I have four little grandbabies that I love from the bottom of my heart I just wish one day one of my kids would call me and say Mom we’re going to pick you up we’re going to take you with us to the circus out to dinner anywhere anywhere where I won’t feel like I’m walking too slow or I am a burden. I went to a baseball game last week I was excited to go the person that went with me was not the greatest person but when we were walking of course I have my Walker and yes I’m walking slower and slower everyday he walked about 10 to 15 ft in front of me to get to where we needed to go I stopped and I said hey if you don’t want to walk with me I’ll sit in the car and wait for you he then apologized I found it very ignorant but thank God we have these wonderful sights to help us through all these days

      Reply
  3. Sue Allen says:

    I do feel a burden sometimes, especially when i am being pushed in my wheelchair. This is why i use my elbow crutches some of the time. I feel so tired after using them i’m back to my wheelchair again

    Reply
    • Laura Littlewood says:

      U feel this way because u are the rock of the family, the one we all turn to and the one who has always looked after everyone else. It must be hard to accept that the tables are turning but u deserve to b looked after the way u have looked after all of us.
      Two bits of that really stuck out to me:
      Please don’t give up on the life that’s in front of you because the struggle has grown too big or the fight has become too great. I understand that multiple sclerosis makes life hard and can sometimes even cause such terrible pain that you find yourself unable to see how anything in life could ever be good again, but it can. Good times do happen and you have many more ahead to experience. You can’t give up now.

      Be kind to yourself. Be patient when you feel as if you’re drowning in a sea of emotions and pain. Be honest when you are overwhelmed. And never, ever, ever believe that you are a burden to others…because you are not.

      You would only be a burden if we didnt love u or want to help, but we do. I will always be there and do everything I can. We are all in this together. Love u momma ❤

      Reply
  4. Susie Jones says:

    Very hard not to feel like one a lot of the time but my family and friends really never make me feel like one. They are wonderful to me but I still feel like one quite often

    Reply
  5. Sheryl Braswell says:

    How do you know to discuss the things I am going through. My husband and I were talking about this last night. I am feeling like a burden as I am able to do less and he is having to pick up the slack. He let me know I am not, but it’s hard not feeling like that. Thank you for your blog.

    Reply
    • Jeanne
      Jeanne says:

      oh how I so understand this. I get told that all the time by certain people you are so dramatic but if they only lived in our shoes they would understand that’s why I am so thankful for all these Ms sites that we truly I found people that truly understand what we are going through

      Reply
  6. Aileen Brown says:

    I have a friend with a neurological problem who is in a chair altho can walk in the house she recently moved and I was able to do things for her that she couldn’t it made me feel so good and because we are good friends she doesn’t feel she is a burden to me

    Reply
  7. Kathy Hamilton says:

    The less capable I am of doing things like mowing the lawn, shoveling the steps, etc, the more of a burden I feel I’ve become. It used to be that one could hire teens to do those chores, but that no longer seems to be the case. In general, I try to maintain my sense of humour, but there are times that my frustration exceeds the limit of my medication.

    Reply
    • Kathy Ann says:

      Me too! They also need to learn about MS rather than assume anything. I’d really like some proactive support rather than them waiting for me to have to ask. It’s almost as if they view MS invisibly and ignore the downhill slope I’m in! My children are adults now. The oldest remembers the Mama that was active and strong and ready for challenges. The younger not so much. I try to keep myself up and active but some days it’s more than I can even think about so I shutdown for a few hours and sometimes the day.

      Reply
    • David Deborah says:

      Kathy Ann that’s exactly my situation! Mine are adults too. My husband recently tried to reach out to them only to be shot down abusively by a daughter and her husband, who accused him of viewing me as a burden. Yet his the one day in and day providing all the practical support.

      Reply

Leave a Reply

Want to join the discussion?
Feel free to contribute!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *