Life changes with Multiple Sclerosis

Have you ever had this happen…a friend calls you up to invite you over for a get together. You would love to go but the challenge of a long drive, late hours, and lack of accessibility makes the decision for you. You politely decline but inside feel miserable because you realize how limiting your life has become.

There are times when having a disability is a great thing because you have an excuse to decline an invitation to a party you have no interest in going to or a reason to not help a friend move the furniture in their house. But it’s sad when you can’t join in on something you really want to be a part of.

Life changes with MS…which sucks. You find yourself making decisions based on how difficult it is to climb the stairs rather than on whether you have to pick up a gift and a platter of food on the way. The depression that weights on you can be hard to deal with and even overwhelming at times. It’s not an easy thing to come to terms with.

At this time of year it can become extra hard because you see people going out enjoying the holidays, spending time together shopping, having late night dinner parties…doing all the able-bodied things people do that you are no longer capable of doing. It seems the winter months have this way of ushering in a sadness along with the cold and the snow.

Multiple Sclerosis depression is a real thing. It has this way of sneaking up on you and before you know it you find yourself sinking in a sea of despair. I’ve been there myself. It can become overwhelming if you allow your thoughts to rule the day and slip into the “why me” places.

I’ve heard people say that I have no reason to be sad because someone else may have it worse than me, but that would be the same as saying I can’t be happy because someone else might have it better. That’s just not a valid argument.

I know it’s hard, but try and find something good in the chaos. Take up a new hobby. Learn to paint, write or play an instrument. Do volunteer work. Adopt a pet that needs a good home. There is still a lot of living to be done even with MS hanging around.

What’s truly stopping me from enjoying my life? Me. I am the only one hindering myself. With that realization I have decided that whatever comes my way, if I can’t change what is happening in my life, I can let go and change me.

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About the Author
About the Author
Penelope Conway

Penelope Conway
Penelope started Positive Living with MS as a way to help others with MS stay positive in the midst of a terrible disease. She believes that staying positive and holding onto hope is the key to waking up each morning with the strength to get through the day. Multiple Sclerosis may never go away, but neither will her determination and her drive to help others through the journey.

32 replies
  1. Annaliese Schofield
    Annaliese Schofield says:

    I can’t type anymore so fb is not much fun anymore. I had to leave my granddaughter’s graduation party cause I couldn’t make it to their bathroom. I’m not too strong emotionally anymore.

  2. Rodger Ashton-Smith
    Rodger Ashton-Smith says:

    We have had a great day today in that we went for a drive around the lower hills which were a part of the area I used to patrol in the Community Patrol w. This is because then I could drive Now I don’t drive and this was the first time in over 2 years I have been over there. This is part of a sleep/awake program for my wife so she can get a decent sleep at night. So in a way I am still helping her but she has to help me also. It’s quite strange but good time as I haven’t spent a lot of time when on patrol and checking vehicles in this park setting and it was a fine day.
    We are in summer now and most of our schools have finished.

  3. Marsha Bell says:

    My life summed up as cocooned. I am able to work full time but that takes everything I have. After work in the evenings and the weekends are spent being “lazy” since I’ve spent all my energies to pay the bills. I can manage the most essential domestic endeavors, my husband has picked up the slack or overlooks anything else. No social life.

  4. Claudia Furtado says:

    Yes, it happens. I’ve had friends change the place of the get together so I can attend. They also know I may have to leave earlier, and no longer ask why I seem tired. Declining is a last resort option I really try to avoid even if I believe things could go very wrong. I’ll rest when I’m dead, and MS is coming to the grave with me!

  5. Carla L Broadbent Rogers
    Carla L Broadbent Rogers says:

    Yes, I am the reason. I am going to try to make ME the solution. Be well. Sta y strong within yourself.

    • Rodger Ashton-Smith
      Rodger Ashton-Smith says:

      What a horrible thing to do. I have got a similar problem with not being able to leave the house unless someone helps me. And that can be a while in between, although things are changing. It has been frustrating when you are gregose and only meeting your doctor or nurse. Not very gratifying.

  6. Valarie Ellen says:

    The thing I have trouble with: before MS I used to be at ease in social situations and now I’m quite awkward and uncomfortable. Sometimes I can push through but not always, the challenge is very real. It’s sad to miss out on the fun.

  7. Jo Sandeman says:

    YES all too often. It’s difficult trying to explain that, even to well meaning people and even family members. The hassle and tiring effort it all takes is just too exhausting. Don’t get me wrong I am positive, but often other people project their fears onto you and it’s a constant battle on top of everything else we have to contend with. So keep safe and strong. ❤

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