I love surprises. Well, the good kind of surprises. Things like an unexpected gift, a found 5 dollar bill in your jeans pocket that you didn’t know was there, a pay-it-forward drink at the coffee shop, or waking up to a clean kitchen that you left dirty before going to bed. I welcome those kind of surprises any day of the week.
The kind I don’t like, especially with multiple sclerosis, are the sudden new symptoms that just show up out of the blue and then never go away. That’s always how mine seem to happen.
Since last week a numbness has been increasing across the upper left side of my face and head. It is to the point now that I can’t feel a part of my forehead and even my left eyeball. It’s kind of weird being numb there, almost like someone gave me a shot at the dentist to numb my mouth only they missed my mouth and injected it into my head instead.
Thankfully I can still blink my eye and move the muscles in my face, but it sure is strange to rub that part of my face and not feel it. I find myself being extra cautious when I do so I don’t accidentally scratch myself.
I’m sure the doctor will put me on a round of steroids to slow down the unwelcome activity in my brain that is causing this new surprise. I would love it if MS would just take a vacation already. Better yet, if while on vacation it got eaten by a shark, hit by an astroid and then vaporized in a sudden explosive lava flow. (You can’t be too cautious in wishing for just one disaster to happen.)
But, since that won’t be happening any time soon I am going to have to get used to my new normal. You’d think I’d be used to doing that by now. Trust me, you never get there.
I’ve already had my moment of tears. I seem to always have those moments while in the shower. I don’t know why that happens, but the shower has become my crying spot. Maybe it’s because it’s easier to wash my tears aways and blow my nose with a constant stream of water running down my head.
Regardless of everything happening in my life, I’m going to keep pushing through. You have to do the same thing. Don’t let new progression, new symptoms, or new changes keep you down. There’s always hope.
Even though I don’t personally know you, I can tell you that I genuinely love you and everything is truly going to be okay. Don’t allow yourself to become overwhelmed by the mountain in front of you or the long journey ahead, choose to move forward one step at a time…one moment at a time. You got this. I believe in you, am hoping with you and know that there are better days ahead.