Entries by Penelope Conway

Being brave in the face of uncertainty

The first thing I do every morning is pour myself a cup of coffee and sit in my favorite chair with my laptop to write my morning thoughts for you. If someone would have told me several years ago that my thoughts about my life with Multiple Sclerosis would be read by people all around the world, I would have probably looked at them crosseyed and lopsided.

You did not cause Multiple Sclerosis

I want to talk about a topic that many people either avoid or choose to ignore. It’s something I see very little support for yet affects over half the population of people living with Multiple Sclerosis as well as those living with other chronic illnesses like Parkinson’s, ALS, Lupus, EDS, Asthma…too many illnesses to even list.

You are strong enough

My right hand has grown increasingly weak. At first, it had just a slight tremor that was annoying but manageable. Now even when I’m holding it in a resting position, thankfully the tremors aren’t as prominent but it has a tendency to curl up making that hand a bit useless. I have trouble even pushing a key on my computer or holding onto a spoon…

Even with a disability I am more able-bodied than many people today

There are all kinds of people in this world. Some will help you along the way while others will attempt to push boulders into your path. Living with a disability is not always easy. I have met the rude, uncaring types of people who watch as I struggle to open a heavy door instead of stepping in to help and I have come across the ones that choose to give me the death stare as I pull into the disabled parking spot at the grocery store only to turn away (hopefully in shame) as soon as they see me wheel my way inside from a wheelchair…

Multiple Sclerosis has given me superpowers

Multiple Sclerosis has given me numerous superpowers. I have been known to fly across the room from time to time even without my superhero cape on. I teleport things like my keys, the TV remote and my phone to strange places in order to keep them safe from thieves. Who would think to look for those things in the dishwasher, washing machine or the freezer?

But I can’t do that anymore…

Life changed a lot after multiple sclerosis came to live with me. Many emotions surfaced that I didn’t even know existed. Fears, doubts, worries…MS forced them all out into the open. It was a time in my life when chaos and confusion became the norm and I didn’t like it at all….