Lately it’s been extremely difficult getting my body going in the morning. Now mind you, I’ve never been a morning person, but this kind of slow going is different.
For instance, take this morning…I woke up and lay in the bed a good hour just contemplating getting up. I didn’t throw the covers back immediately as if ready to conquer the day like I have done countless times before. It felt more like the day had already conquered me, and I hadn’t even gotten out of bed yet.
The energy it takes for me to move my legs, let alone use them, seems non existent. I can usually take about 5 steps before needing a break, but even one step seems impossible today. I can’t even talk them into moving across the mattress on their own.
My hands aren’t cooperating either. I’ve punched myself in the face twice already just pulling on my blanket. Then there’s my uncontrollable right hand which has a mind of its own as it shakes and jitters about.
As I lay here in bed, in my mind I have already canceled all of the plans I have for the day.
That trip to the store, it can wait until tomorrow. That dirty bathroom, it will just have to clean itself. Laundry? That’s a nope. My morning get together with friends, it will have to go on without me. Even getting my morning cup of coffee has been put on hold.
I am not a quitter but I have to admit, sometimes my body wins the argument before the argument has even begun. Sometimes my inability to do certain things is not a mind over matter concept but more of a what’s-really-important kind of thing.
I have simplified my life and my surroundings all because of multiple sclerosis. It kind of has this way of weeding out the unnecessary in life…whether that be things or people. But you know, that’s not really a bad thing. As least I know that the people in my life today are genuine and real.
MS may get me down, and at times keep me down longer than I would like, but it still hasn’t won. I am going to keep pushing through the struggles I find myself facing, and if need be I will pause for awhile to catch my breath, but I won’t quit.
MS makes life hard, makes everything hard, but don’t ever let it cause you to give up. You are too valuable, too important, too needed, to quit. Pause, take a breather, nap if you must, but never, ever, ever give up.
Today for me may already be cancelled, but it’s not over. There is still a lot of time to do the impossible. The same goes for you. You can’t give up now.