I woke up this morning yet again to the reality of Multiple Sclerosis. Sometimes it feels like I’m stuck in the movie Groundhog Day. Do you remember that movie? Every morning the alarm clock would go off and the same day would begin…over and over and over.
I really wish MS would take a vacation, or better yet, pack up and move out, but instead I’m stuck in some endless loop of difficulties, chaos, foggy brain and pain. This isn’t the life I chose. I didn’t wake up one morning and decide “Hey, I want to live with a chronic illness so I can quit the career I love, struggle financially, endure rude comments and stares from strangers, and live in a state of constant struggle for the rest of my life.”
No, just like everyone else, I dreamed of a wonderful life where my passions were being fulfilled surrounded by loved ones and friends. But life doesn’t seem to work like we want it to, does it? And sometimes that really stinks…some days worse than others.
Many of those dreams are now untouchable and those friends have disappeared, but that doesn’t mean I can’t still dream. My dreams are just different now. And those people that walked away, well, they weren’t really friends to begin with. Friends don’t leave when times get tough. The real ones stick around.
On days when you wake up and every muscle, bone and cell aches in your body, know that you aren’t alone. When you long for the days of yesterday at a time when life was good and although it had its heartaches and pains, it was easy compared to a life with MS, know that there are others who feel the same way. When you find yourself alone with no one to talk to and no one to care, know that good people do still exist and my hope is that you find those people in your life.
Your body may have failed you, but you are not a failure. You are a remarkably strong person filled with tremendous wisdom and greatness who just so happens to have this ugly MS hanging around. Don’t let MS steal your day today. Shake off those defeating thoughts, hold your head up, take a deep breath and seize the day.
You didn’t choose this life with MS, but today…choose to live. You got this!