Is there really meaning in my mess?

This morning I made an absolute mess of things. I was making my morning coffee, and for the umpteenth time, I spilled the coffee grounds all over the floor and myself because my hands fumbled and wouldn’t cooperate. I cleaned myself up and turned the coffee pot on so it could brew me a cup, but left the mess all over the floor for later.

As I’m writing this, I’m sipping on a freshly brewed cup of coffee while sitting in my bed knowing that there’s a mess in the kitchen waiting for me to tackle. And you know what? It can just wait. My typical OCD self wants it cleaned up now but my MS body says not now. Guess who won the argument? (grin)

Multiple Sclerosis has given me a greater desire to balance the demands in my everyday life…every single minuscule microscopic second of it. So if that means I need to put certain tasks on hold until I can manage them better, I’m going to do it. And without feeling guilty too.

You never know when something is going to happen to upset the balance in a day especially with MS being a part of things. Even something seemingly small can start the tilt motion in your world and begin toppling life out of control.

When you come to a place where life is no longer “normal”…well, at least no longer your normal, take heart. Days change, times change, seasons change, life changes and we have to learn to move with those changes. Some changes will come along and they will excite us. Things like a new baby in the family, a graduation, a promotion, a surprise gift. Those things are welcomed and make us smile. They bring joy to our heart and cause our insides to dance.

The changes we seem to cringe about are the ones that upset our comfort. Things like losing the ability to do something, ending a career, shedding friendships, unwelcome shifts to our routine. When those kind of changes happen, things that we don’t like, there are two choices in front of us. We can become angry, allowing the changes to drown us and swallow any bit of joy we have left inside of us or we can rise above the challenges thrown our way and use them to become a better person.

I know you don’t want to become someone filled with bitterness and anger at what is happening in your life, but I also know that it’s not easy to rise above the challenges of MS and find something of meaning in the mess. If it was easy everyone would be doing it, right?!

But you…you are strong and although at times you grow tired and long to throw in the towel, you are not a quitter. Don’t ever let a set back, change, or mess in life stop you from living. Keep moving. Keep going. MS may end your ability to do something but it can never keep you from living.

This morning you are awake, breathing, your heart is beating, you’re alive. If that’s the only thing you can be thankful for…that’s enough. Take this day one moment at a time, one step at a time, one second at a time. The hard times won’t last but the strength they build in you will.

MS Gets on My NervesMS WarriorMS Superhero  

About the Author

Penelope Conway

Penelope Conway
Penelope started Positive Living with MS as a way to help others with MS stay positive in the midst of a terrible disease. She believes that staying positive and holding onto hope is the key to waking up each morning with the strength to get through the day. Multiple Sclerosis may never go away, but neither will her determination and her drive to help others through the journey.

37 replies
  1. Dolly Dipsey Dory
    Dolly Dipsey Dory says:

    Done this so many times, I’ve lost count. Just have to do as you do now. Feck the mess, I need to sit down. Else I’d end up with tears of frustration. Slowly learning.

  2. Rodger Ashton-Smith
    Rodger Ashton-Smith says:

    That is why I drink instant coffee, I don’t have to work at it when I make it. But I know what you mean when it gets to hard to do things. I now work on the fact I can do it but in my time and do it when I can. Then I can say I’ve done it and it does make me feel a bit better.

  3. Julie A Kelty
    Julie A Kelty says:

    What’s even more fun is when you slip and fall on the stupid coffee grains because your leg gives out! Been there, done that!! The dog ultimately enjoys a little “pick me up”!!

  4. Shelley Sharp
    Shelley Sharp says:

    I have an “OCD” personality as well. Before MS I didn’t read books etc. because it felt like a waste of time, I always felt I should be doing something. Now with MS I realize I have to stop more often and I actually enjoy reading.

  5. Saima Akram
    Saima Akram says:

    lol for last two days my kitchen sink is full of dishes waiting to be washed . but i only wash one cup or plate when i need rest of dishes are still waiting .

  6. Allison Presley
    Allison Presley says:

    I left the spilled shredded cheese on the floor for the cat. I guess she had the same idea I had … Later. I’ll get to it later. It’s not going anywhere, anyway.

  7. Beth Ann Baumgartner
    Beth Ann Baumgartner says:

    Thank you for this. I look at my house and want it clean like it used to be. But I have to let it go and be happy that I am still living at home with my wonderful husband and two dogs.

  8. Julie Wicks Giltner
    Julie Wicks Giltner says:

    1 Corinthians 13:12 ~ “For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall understand fully, even as I have been fully understood”. A year ago my MS neurologist sent my immediately to my ophthalmologist, close up vision in my right eye (PVD courtesy of MS) comprised ~ permanent damage. Every time I notice the black spots/blurry vision I think of this verse….just 10 days ago (I was warned by the ophthalmologist to be ready) it started in my left eye ~ my job depends on seeing up close (private math tutor). I am telling you I am beginning to make the adjustments, but I have literally had the grieving process (mad about it, then sad & now adjust) & last week had to share with all 31 of my students (maybe 5 knew before) ~ ultimately we are all buff, and somehow we find the strength to adjust!!

    • Julie Wicks Giltner
      Julie Wicks Giltner says:

      I should add one of my students has horrible chronic migraines. At least I just have swirling spots not migraines (& I graduated from high school in the ’80s ~ it’s kind of like a discotheque strobe light!).

  9. Ellen Hicks
    Ellen Hicks says:

    Hey I hear coffee is great at discouraging ants and mice so maybe there is a silver lining. I do what you fo- hey all will be completed when it can be.

  10. Rachel
    Rachel says:

    Penelope, this is a wonderful reminder that things can wait, not everything has to be done to perfection, & sweating the small ‘stuff’ doesn’t do us, or anyone, any good! xo❤

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