I have daily battles with Multiple Sclerosis

Every day I wake up to a fight with Multiple Sclerosis. Most days I have the strength to come up swinging, even on the days I can’t get out of bed. MS has definitely thrown me some curve balls and sucker punches over the years.

But some days it seems as if MS gets the upper hand as it blindsides me with a blow I wasn’t expecting. Today is one of those days. It’s a day of tremors, fatigue, memory fog and pain. I made a mess of things changing out my urine bag, slipped transferring from my bed to my wheelchair (I’m sure new bruises will appear because of it) and over boiled my coffee in the microwave while heating it up for the umpteenth time. Oh, and did I mention I forgot to shut the water off in the sink and it overflowed? Yeah, I did that too. All in the first hour of my day.

Yet even on my worst days—those times when I feel as if I’m losing the fight—I have strength. Not because I’m a super MS warrior, but because deep down inside I have determined that MS is not going to seize the day. I have decided I won’t quit or wave the white flag of defeat. I may be weak, I may struggle, I may get overwhelmed, I may even shed some tears, but I will not be defeated.

This war we are in called a life with Multiple Sclerosis is filled with many daily battles. Some of those battles are easy and some can be extremely hard to near impossible. Some days MS wins, but many days I win.

When you are at your lowest and feel so bad that you’re ready to throw your hands up in surrender; when you don’t have the strength to punch, jab or even make a fist; when you become overwhelmed by how hard your body has to work to do even the simplest of things; take the much needed time to rest. You don’t have to stay in the heat of the battle every minute of every day. There is a difference in resting and quitting.

If you’re anything like me, sitting around doing nothing can make you feel unproductive and at times useless, but don’t let the fact that you need down time be your defeating moment. There is no shame in taking a break, a time out or even a nap on the floor as you wait to get the strength needed to pull yourself back up!

Sometimes just a few hours are all that’s needed to get the strength to keep going, other times you need days, but regardless of the time you need…take it and give yourself a break. No more guilt for stepping away to rest.

Don’t let today get the best of you. Take a deep breath and calm the thoughts that are racing through your mind. You may be weary and battle worn, but you are not defeated. Remember, even the best of warriors need to rest. Just don’t quit.

MS Gets on My NervesMS WarriorMS Superhero  

About the Author

Penelope Conway

Penelope Conway
Penelope started Positive Living with MS as a way to help others with MS stay positive in the midst of a terrible disease. She believes that staying positive and holding onto hope is the key to waking up each morning with the strength to get through the day. Multiple Sclerosis may never go away, but neither will her determination and her drive to help others through the journey.

72 replies
  1. Rodger Ashton-Smith
    Rodger Ashton-Smith says:

    Thanks for the laughs Penelope. I’m writing this from Nelson. a city in northern South Island. I will be soon (hopefully) putting some interesting photos on my Facebook page when I get home so look for them on Wednesday 24th May

  2. Patty Solis
    Patty Solis says:

    I am SO SO sorry. I offer a virtual hug and prayers that your day improves. How do we manage? How do we keep going? I feel so lost. I just need the Lord to hold my guide me through this mess- daily. How do u do it? How do you persist?

  3. Cathy Bauder
    Cathy Bauder says:

    Woke up this morning overheated struggled just to try sitting up husband had to help me. Then even thou I have a hand rail on wall beside my bed and had my hospital bed up as high as I could get it I had a terrible time standing up so I could get in my wheelchair what a way to start the day.

  4. Speedy Roni
    Speedy Roni says:

    Know the feeling. Had to come home from work early today as pain and fatigue were so bad. Hate it when MS wins, even a small battle. If I’d read this before going to work I may just have stayed in bed as it is sound advise. Sometime you need to take some ME time and just rest. Forget everything else. Who cares if people don’t understand!

  5. Beth Ann Baumgartner
    Beth Ann Baumgartner says:

    So sad that people don’t realize how every moment of our day is dictated by MS. They see you at one function and bcc question why you are not at others. Some days, I just cannot go. Makes me sad the number of things I want to participate in, I cannot due to MS.

  6. Nicola Day
    Nicola Day says:

    Bruises are just the proof that giving up was not an option and at least if life has put you on the floor in theory you can’t fall off

  7. Peggy Pike
    Peggy Pike says:

    I know how you feel and how you suffer. I have 2 daughters and a grand daughter with MS. I will put you on my pray list along with them .I also have a friend that has it. It is one eant thing to deal with .

    • Christine Prosser Mcneill
      Christine Prosser Mcneill says:

      Oh Peggy I’ve just read your post . I’m so sorry 3 members of your family have this curse its bad enough me having it don’t know how I’d cope if my children had it 💔 sending you all big hugs 😍 x

  8. Ginger Grobe-Herbert
    Ginger Grobe-Herbert says:

    Bless your sweet heart!! Your basket is full and overflowing with bad luck today! Prayers for the rest of today and in the days to come that you will get relief from the pain and NO MORE FALLS!❤

  9. Juana Driver
    Juana Driver says:

    Thank you for sharing your daily battles but more so the encouragement in the latter words. I’m learning to not beat myself up on the increased number of “breaks” I’m taking. Picking and choosing what gets done ….. Thank you for sharing your journey. ⚘⚘⚘

  10. Karen L Burns
    Karen L Burns says:

    I get up most days..put my fake smile on and drag myself thru the day just wanting to crawl back into bed..I am always tired. Some days I haven’t the energy to get up, I feel I haven’t the energy to breath, those are ‘what’s the point’ days..those days scare me

  11. Meeya
    Meeya says:

    Thank you so much again – this was more important today than ever before for me, drowning in self-pity as I was before I read your post…
    Yes, this was the worst day for me in such a long time. But you reminded me that giving up is not an option!

  12. Melinda Oslonian Cunningham
    Melinda Oslonian Cunningham says:

    Oh Penelope Conway!! I hate that for you! But to give you a spot of sunshine (minus the scary heat and it’s implications!!). You inspire me SO much! I look forward to your blog publications because it will make me smile, cope, or empathize 100%! So thank you, and I’ll be praying for a smoother day! Love from Kentucky to ya!

  13. Gail M. Ferguson
    Gail M. Ferguson says:

    So very sorry for your extremely rough day. I can relate to some of your issues but not all. Of course there are other issues like using my body as a ping pong ball and the walls are paddles. Then of course there are the days I am thankful for cell phones so when I stumble and land on the front lawn I can call for clean up on isle lawn!! I also have a ton of positive things thanks to my family and friends!! And my dogs!!

  14. Jennifer Sutton
    Jennifer Sutton says:

    Thank you!! I needed this today. I enjoy your blog so much. Ty for taking the time out of your life to help us:)

  15. Mike Cummings
    Mike Cummings says:

    It’s like a rolling snowball, isn’t it? When I have a bad day, I knock things over all the time, drop stuff, forget things, and have sudden stabs of pain keeping me off-balance. Oh yeah, and my balance is off (mentally and physically). My biggest challenge is not letting myself get too frustrated. Hang in there! I always wish I had some words to make it better, but we all know those don’t exist. I just hope it’s some comfort to know you have a lot of sympathetic people here who understand how it is.

  16. Cathy Watson
    Cathy Watson says:

    Oh no! Over boiled coffee ☕️. An absolute disaster right there! I hope you have a better day tomorrow and a stunning cup of coffee tomorrow

  17. Samantha DeGroot
    Samantha DeGroot says:

    Am I a horrible person if I take comfort that others have messed up their day worse than I have so far?? I literally dropped my adult overnight undergarment on my puppy. He now smells and needs a bath!! My other dog finds him VERY interesting.

    • Vicky
      Vicky says:

      You are not horrible. You just feel better knowing you are not alone in some really amazing feats all of us MS’ers manage to do. 🙂

  18. Josephine Regan
    Josephine Regan says:

    So positive even on your worst days you are so inspiring thank you for posting xx

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