Things never seem to go how I want them to

Have you ever needed to talk to someone yet you were scared half out of your wits to do it because deep down you knew it was not going to go well? To prepare yourself, you planned out what you were going to say. You chose your words wisely and sounded so eloquent in your head. You even planned out their response. Everything seemed perfect.

When the time came, you sat down with them only to realize that things just weren’t going as planned. They didn’t follow the script you laid out in your head. We’ve all had those moments. In most cases we can look back on those times and smile because, in the end, things worked out just not the way we thought they would.

Life has a way of doing that. It doesn’t go as we plan no matter how hard we try to make it. And sometimes we try really hard.

Before multiple sclerosis, I had my life all planned out. My career was set. My goals were laid out. I was going places and doing things. Then MS came along and changed everything up.

I think about it kind of like this…

There’s a comfort knowing that I can park my car in a certain spot every day; that if I open the top drawer in my bathroom I will find the toothpaste neatly tucked away; that when I go to the grocery store the tomatoes are to the right and the napkins are to the left.

But what would happen if I pulled into my driveway and couldn’t get into the garage because the garage door wouldn’t open; or I opened the drawer in the bathroom and the toothpaste exploded splattering all over my new dress; or if the grocery store decided to move everything around and change the entire floor plan?

What would happen? Frustrations would be high and schedules would get delayed. Now if those things were to happen all at once and then change every day into the future, well that’s a life with MS and not something you ever get used to.

MS is a disease of change and that much unexpected change can be hard.

When things don’t happen the way you think they should, don’t let that ruin your day. When change is the only things constant in your life, don’t allow frustration to rule the day.

MS has this way of changing life up on you without warning. Because of that, it’s important to sort through everything going on and choose to focus on the things that really matter in life.

Focus on family, friends, your faith, things that give you peace and happiness, and leave behind everything else that really, in the long run, doesn’t matter. Live in the moment. This way, when change comes (because we all know it will), you will be able to move right through it and keep going.

MS Gets on My NervesMS WarriorMS Superhero  

About the Author

Penelope Conway

Penelope Conway
Penelope started Positive Living with MS as a way to help others with MS stay positive in the midst of a terrible disease. She believes that staying positive and holding onto hope is the key to waking up each morning with the strength to get through the day. Multiple Sclerosis may never go away, but neither will her determination and her drive to help others through the journey.

39 replies
  1. Rodger Ashton-Smith
    Rodger Ashton-Smith says:

    Thanks Penelope another great gem from you. We are in a changed life and we have chance to meet people we would never had met before.

  2. Ethel Himel
    Ethel Himel says:

    Penelope Miller well said . I was married to a controller and he did not kno how to love. I stayed with him for 39 years and took good care of him when Hod called him home. My profession was caregiver for elderly. I said I would work till I die but that’s not happening. MS has changed my plans

    • Penelope Miller
      Penelope Miller says:

      I know what you’re saying however God doesn’t control your life, he’ll love you through your choices but love and control are at different ends of the spectrum. A loving person isn’t very controlling and a controlling person isn’t very loving. 🤗 That’s why you have free will and why lots of bad things still happen in this life.

  3. Sharon
    Sharon says:

    You have an incredible gift to be able to write how each of us feel daily. Sad that we totally get it but comforting that it is shared.

  4. Mickey Hechim
    Mickey Hechim says:

    Sometimes I feel like MS is karma for control freaks like me. Now OCD is my way of feeling in some kind of control, like taking certain prescriptions, pills and supplements at specified times each day. Perception is reality.

  5. Fiona Clair Hitchman
    Fiona Clair Hitchman says:

    I enrolled in a nursing course after getting 10 C’s and 1 D in my GCSES. Upon enrolling it became a snowball of relapses until diagnosed when i was 20. Now i have 3 very energetic little boys but im a couch potato succumbing to the brain rot, that is daytime telly. My left hand wants to permanently close and i struggle to grip anything..and thats the tip of the iceberg of this 31 delapidated carcass. Had so many plans and ideas for the future planned wrecked by this dreadful disease. Its so hateful, i wouldnt wish it on my worst enemy

  6. Della Smalley
    Della Smalley says:

    I have RMS n at times feel just this way but got to make the best of this nasty invisible disease n thank you Penelope for ur page because I always enjoy it .

  7. Adrian Horne
    Adrian Horne says:

    My sympathies. I went on a stage further and had got organised about life with my PPMS. Just feeling ‘in some control’ and along came Theresa May, shuffled the Welfare system of the UK to reduce benefits and alter which illnesses were entitled and now not one single disabled person has certainty of support until reassessed (especially MS/PPMS and invisible illnesses) by outside bodies 🙁

    • Adrian Horne
      Adrian Horne says:

      Yes, but why have we been pushed to the back for the sake of Brexit, which is notably going to be a MASSIVE mistake ?
      Quite obviously because Brexit has been used to distract British society from the numerous breaches of human rights and abuse planned by May since the first day she took post.
      Now, largely unnoticed, May has stolen disabled benefits, treated the poor and disabled with complete disregard, undermined the NHS to assure the installation of PAY AS YOU GO health care and quietly relaxed the Health and Safety at work laws so that accidents due to unfit employees being forced back to work are almost impossible to claim against or be sacked for.
      Heartless, just heartless.
      I worked all of my life (25 years in Primary Schools), classroom teacher, booster lessons for Y6 after school, evenings tutoring for Y6 SATs prep, paid all my N.I and taxes and at 50 was diagnosed with Primary Progressive Multiple Sclerosis and and COPD. May says I’m not entitled 🙁 xx

  8. Debbie Walker
    Debbie Walker says:

    I have just been to see my MS nurse today and she was very pleased at the fact I haven’t relapsed in 2 years. I hope this continues…onwards and upwards

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