You are a Multiple Sclerosis warrior

It’s hard to not focus on how I feel in my daily fight living with Multiple Sclerosis. Feelings have this way of ruling the day even when I don’t want them to. It takes a lot of energy to manage a chronic illness. That energy is wrapped up into every nerve cell in my body triggering not just pain, discomfort and weakness, but also anger, sadness and fear. That’s something people don’t seem to understand.

I woke up this morning and everything was hurting, even my hair and clothes. Who knew nerve endings were in those things? It would be nice if there were some magic pill that would take everything away…and I’m not just talking about MS either. I’m talking about all the craziness that comes along with it too. Sometimes there’s just too much change to even wrap my head around and I find myself wishing everything would all just go away.

I have days when I’m strong, but I also have days when I’m a wreck both inside and out. It’s funny though…people looking in on my life wouldn’t see it that way. They would see me as a strong, resilient, never quit, go-get-em kind of gal. Someone who keeps going with every punch thrown her way and who seems unmoved by her circumstances. But that’s only because they can’t look inside my life and see the battles I fight every day.

I fight back tears with a silly little joke. I fight weakness by staying busy. I fight loneliness with a movie. I fight stress with a song. I fight defeatist thoughts by shifting my focus away from the chaos. Every day is filled with a bunch of little fights, sometimes one at a time and sometimes all combined into one giant mess. Fights that at times I didn’t even know I was fighting and that I sometimes lose.

Here I am today, bruised, battered, and beaten up in this war we call a life with Multiple Sclerosis. So when someone wants to know why I’m always so exhausted, well, it’s because I never get to take a break from the fight.

Do like me, take those battle scars and wear them proudly. You are an overcomer even when you don’t feel like it because you are winning battles left and right. Maybe you can’t do this or that, maybe life has changed more than you ever dreamed it could, maybe you are tired, weary and simply worn out, but through it all I know you are not a quitter. You are a champion even when you don’t feel like it…even when your knees are knocking.

Focus only on today. You are going to make it through the battles you are facing. How do I know that? Because, like me, I know you are strong enough, brave enough and courageous enough. You are an MS Warrior.

MS Gets on My NervesMS WarriorMS Superhero  

About the Author

Penelope Conway

Penelope Conway
Penelope started Positive Living with MS as a way to help others with MS stay positive in the midst of a terrible disease. She believes that staying positive and holding onto hope is the key to waking up each morning with the strength to get through the day. Multiple Sclerosis may never go away, but neither will her determination and her drive to help others through the journey.

63 replies
  1. Juana Driver
    Juana Driver says:

    Thank you for sharing your words so many of us want to say. Last few days have been do I call or just suck it up with symptoms driving me bonkers. After 34 yrs one would think it would be more tolerable but SPMS shuttle but sneaky. So thankful for this blog! Love Hugs and prayers

  2. Tiffany Lanthier
    Tiffany Lanthier says:

    I am a MS WARRIOR a true fighter, thanks to you Penelope 😘 You seem to push me ALWAYS in the right direction 😘

  3. Rodger Ashton-Smith
    Rodger Ashton-Smith says:

    Good words Penelope but I’n just grateful that I don’t have much pain but I can feel for you. I have lived (living) through my wife’s’ pain and been doing that for over 30 years, so pain has not been unformalanty for me. And so what pain I get, so far has been non-MS so I can’t blame it on it.

  4. Jana morgan
    Jana morgan says:

    Thanks Penelope for your wonderful words. I look forward to your great advice and it makes my day so much better. Xxx

  5. Sherri Aument
    Sherri Aument says:

    Omg!!! Me too and just finished my second round of the new winder drug Ocrevus…and Im wondering what all the hype was about cuz I feel like i was the floor of a kids bouncy house and they all wore shoes im just miserable want to go back on Tysbra may I ask what treatment you are on?

  6. Briege Ward
    Briege Ward says:

    sorry to hear about all ur problems with MS…I hav a relative who’s in same position and hav seen what she goes through. I can not imagine what this does to ur life as only the person knows themselves….I just pray that some cure will b found….God bless u all…

  7. Marsha Bell
    Marsha Bell says:

    Yes to the hair pain; even my eyelashes and my teeth hurt!
    I am extremely sensitive to fabric textures, wool thread, and that plastic stuff in clothes these days.
    The weight of things on me, especially the weight of sheets and the weight of my own hand resting on my own self can be exceedingly intolerably on rough days.

  8. Annette Jolly
    Annette Jolly says:

    My biggest prob is wwith those closest to me. It seems to be ok for me to solve all their probs and really, really stress me out. Seems to be my fault for ‘allowing’ myself to become stressed.Its as if ‘ Yes I know this might stress you or make you more . tired but could you just do………?’ Im expected to cope with anything and everything even when it’s obvious that I’m wiped out at the time.Occasionally I get told it’s ok they’ll do something and then don’t of half do ‘it’ and leave the rest for me! I’d give anything to have just one normal. The way I was before MS changed my life!
    Does anyone else get that?

  9. Jan Hoback Jasper
    Jan Hoback Jasper says:

    Penelope, this hit home for me today. I’m still battling Shingles, along with a UTI. Of course the meds for a UTI always advise to take with plenty of water. My new hangout is my toilet!

  10. Gail M. Ferguson
    Gail M. Ferguson says:

    I have said my hair hurts so many times and I have felt this to be almost unbelievable. My family, ( husband and children) knew and respected my cries of pain but doctors by the boatload thought I was nuts. Ditto for the sensation of internal vibrations. So anyone reading this don’t feel alone and there are plenty of us that suffer with the same symptoms.

  11. Julie Mitchell Dilbeck
    Julie Mitchell Dilbeck says:

    Here are a few scriptures that help me:

    …I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me. – Philippians 4:11-13

    So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal. – 2 Corinthians 4:16-18

    Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7

    And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. – 1 Peter 5:10

    Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ’s sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too. – 2 Corinthians 1:3-5

  12. Joyce McManamon
    Joyce McManamon says:

    this was how my day was going yesterday. I was hard to get around. Thanks Penelope for your inspiring & encouraging words. they really do help whe we read them . You have a great day.

  13. Victoria Doherty
    Victoria Doherty says:

    That is such true words iv always said no matter what illness think of it as war and you have to fight because no one else will , I tell my kids it’s like clash of clans the game . I to have multiple sclerosis xx

Comments are closed.