My ability to forget things is a skill. It takes great talent to forget birthdays, lunch plans, appointments, shopping lists, things people said only a few minutes earlier, and words that I know I know but can’t seem to find even on the tip of my tongue. And that all happens in one day. Each day is different, yet the same. I’ve become a pro at forgetfulness.
And just so you know, it’s different than old age forgetfulness or the casual “sorry, I forgot” kind of thing. My memory issues live in a universe and dimension all their own. A place where my thoughts and words float about just out of reach. I try to reach for them, but those darn words move about too much. Sometimes they hide from me and other times they simply slip through my fingers.
I try. Really, I do. If I didn’t have Post-it notes, a calendar, pen and paper, and my handy-dandy mobile phone with alarms and reminders, people wouldn’t see me for days. I’d be lost somewhere between space and time wondering where I was and how to get back home…or even where home is.
So what causes it? Take a look at my brain and it would be obvious. The damage in there looks a bit like swiss cheese. Those holes and lesions in my brain are the reason for my forgetfulness. Black holes don’t just exist in outer space you know. Some live right here…inside my brain. Talk about things getting lost in the dark. I live there.
I’m grateful for the people who patiently wait for me to get my words out into complete sentences, who remind me of the plans I’ve made, and who help me, without judgment, when I can’t remember the directions to a store I’ve been to a million-trillion times. I appreciate today’s technology for helping me keep my day in order. I’m thankful, that because of my MS cognitive problems, I get to watch a movie or show on TV that I’ve already seen as if it’s my first time viewing it and get to be surprised all over again that the butler did it.
My brain may not be able to function properly every minute of the day, but at least I know I have one. I even have documented proof. Just check out my MRI’s if there’s ever any doubts. As for some people, I think they lost their’s entirely a long time ago.