Have you ever had this happen…a friend calls you up to invite you over for a get together. You would love to go but the challenge of a long drive, late hours, and lack of accessibility makes the decision for you. You politely decline but inside feel miserable because you realize how limiting your life has become.
There are times when having a disability is a great thing because you have an excuse to decline an invitation to a party you have no interest in going to or a reason to not help a friend move the furniture in their house. But it’s sad when you can’t join in on something you really want to be a part of.
Life changes with MS…which sucks. You find yourself making decisions based on how difficult it is to climb the stairs rather than on whether you have to pick up a gift and a platter of food on the way. The depression that weights on you can be hard to deal with and even overwhelming at times. It’s not an easy thing to come to terms with.
At this time of year it can become extra hard because you see people going out enjoying the holidays, spending time together shopping, having late night dinner parties…doing all the able-bodied things people do that you are no longer capable of doing. It seems the winter months have this way of ushering in a sadness along with the cold and the snow.
Multiple Sclerosis depression is a real thing. It has this way of sneaking up on you and before you know it you find yourself sinking in a sea of despair. I’ve been there myself. It can become overwhelming if you allow your thoughts to rule the day and slip into the “why me” places.
I’ve heard people say that I have no reason to be sad because someone else may have it worse than me, but that would be the same as saying I can’t be happy because someone else might have it better. That’s just not a valid argument.
I know it’s hard, but try and find something good in the chaos. Take up a new hobby. Learn to paint, write or play an instrument. Do volunteer work. Adopt a pet that needs a good home. There is still a lot of living to be done even with MS hanging around.
What’s truly stopping me from enjoying my life? Me. I am the only one hindering myself. With that realization I have decided that whatever comes my way, if I can’t change what is happening in my life, I can let go and change me.