The first thing I do every morning is pour myself a cup of coffee and sit in my favorite chair with my laptop to write my morning thoughts for you. If someone would have told me several years ago that my thoughts about my life with Multiple Sclerosis would be read by people all around the world, I would have probably looked at them crosseyed and lopsided.
I never imagined that my words, put together so early in the morning, would matter…let alone make sense. Yet somehow they come together and bring hope to all who read them.
Today, I feel such amazing and unbelievable thankfulness for you. On days when I’m struggling, just knowing that you are sitting there across the miles reading my rambling words, tender encouragement and quirky sarcasm, warms my heart and gives me a smile that makes each day worth waking up to.
I smile because I know that there’s someone else out there just like me. Someone who at times feels overwhelmed, sad, exhausted, and alone but, who just like me, puts their brave on and greets the day with determination and courage. No one will ever fully understand the battles we face each day and the uncertainties we deal with, many before we even pull back the covers to get out of bed.
People will never hear the arguments I have with myself as I look over the list of things needing to be done in the day knowing full well that my body is ready to collapse. They will never understand the strength it takes to hold on when I’m feeling beaten down and worn out. They will never see the tears that leak through the smile I’ve carefully put in place. They will never know of the ache in my heart as I have to cancel plans I was looking forward to being a part of. And they will never grasp the full extent of the challenges I face moving around in a world that is not fully accessible to someone in a wheelchair.
Some days are good and some, to be honest, are downright terrible. But knowing that others are facing similar challenges makes the load considerably lighter, and the world seem a bit less crazy and more manageable.
If there is one thing I could say to you today that will help bring some ease to your heart and the struggle you are facing, it’s this…
You are an incredible, amazing, beautiful individual with a future still ahead of you that is filled with endless possibilities. Your life hasn’t ended because of MS or because of the progression you are experiencing.
I know at times you think that things are over for you, but you really do have great moments ahead that need to be experienced and that you are to be a part of. Many of them are even things that you haven’t even dreamed of yet. Good things. Great things. Amazing things. And one day you will look back on today and be thankful that you kept fighting.
You are brave, even when you don’t feel like it. Even when you are weak and tired. Even when all you can see in front of you is a life filled with uncertainties. You are brave even then.