I don’t remember

This week, Monday came and went without incident. The only problem is that I don’t remember Saturday or Sunday having been lived through. I have tried hard thinking about the weekend but the only thing I can remember is that I can’t remember.

I think I went to the grocery store, but then again I might have done that on Friday. It rained much of the time and the temperature outside was much cooler…I think. I dozed off a few times in the living room while watching something on TV…I think.

There are so many possibilities that could have filled my time. It’s possible I might have buried a dead body in the back yard, I could have won a years supply of chocolate, or I just might have robbed a bank and am now a multi-millionaire. Who knows? I sure don’t.

The one thing I do know is that I’m still here breathing in and breathing out, alive, and ready for a new day, It’s weird how the brain works. You know how some people have selective hearing and can tune out things that annoy them? Yeah, well I think I have selective thinking.

It amazes me that I have no problem remembering the words to the Animaniacs theme song but easily forget that Tuesday is trash day unless I am reminded by an alert on my phone. If I didn’t have reminders to keep me on track I’d probably not get anything done.

I forget to call people back, answer text messages and respond to emails. It’s not intentional. It just is what it is. If I haven’t responded to you…sorry about that. If I forgot your birthday…again, sorry. If I can’t remember your favorite color, miss an appointment because I didn’t have it written down or forgot your name, trust me, it’s not on purpose.

Multiple sclerosis just has this way of scrambling my thoughts and at times turning them into mush. Sometimes I wonder how I get anything done at all.

Well, it’s time to restart a load of laundry that I left in the washing machine for a few days. Let’s see if I can get them re-washed, dried and put away without incident today. That is my goal. I’ll let you know how it goes.

8 replies
  1. Paula
    Paula says:

    Gosh, so glad so see all theses comments, I was starting to worry….at the moment all I want to do is sleep, when I am awake I can’t seem to remember much, tired oh been told but I told you this already. I rely on wrtiting thins on my Calendar …when I remember.

  2. Rodger Ashton-Smith
    Rodger Ashton-Smith says:

    Thanks Penelope I think we all have forgetful moments even without MS, but MS makes it seem worse and builds on it so we are feeling worthless. But we’re not and we should not let this get down. As Pammy written life is too short for us to worry too much and mess up our lives. I have just come back from a shower and a young lady from a care group has been helping me. It is good because sometimes I need a hand (or most times) and it means I can do somethings myself and know that if needed I have help. This is what we all need is getting help when we need it.

  3. Carla L Broadbent Rogers
    Carla L Broadbent Rogers says:

    Wonderful MS…so full of challenges…pains…surprises….mysteries…..I wonder what I did with the money I hid somewhere or was it grocery coupons!?!?!?! Have a great day. Penelope Always wonderful reading you. We can do this.

  4. Stephanie R
    Stephanie R says:

    Thank-you for this! I think the only reason I remember what I do is because I have an almost nine year old and almost 15 Year old. My husband is good at helping me with stuff and I know without a doubt I am at church Sunday and Wednesday.

  5. Tiffany
    Tiffany says:

    THANK YOU Penelope for posting this because not everyone understands this. I thought for a long time there was something wrong with me because I was forgetting EVERYTHING and then i started to understand more and I became happy with ME and it has been great so far.

  6. Tiffany
    Tiffany says:

    This is becoming my life daily!!! But hey life is way too short to be upset about it. Hey watching movies is really fun cause from what my family says I’ve already seen a movie but its NEW to me and they just can’t fully understand it… This is hard to understand myself but its me and who I’am so it has become OK for me :):):) Good Luck to everyone, its ok to be different from others.

  7. Pammy
    Pammy says:

    This is so how I live, it is great to know that I am not alone. Selective thinking is a thing!
    When my washing is finally dragged from the machine I will no longer worry but some days selective thinking does seem to dismiss all ideas about domesticity and my duties to the family that I love and who is so incredibly patient with me.
    I rely on Grammarly to assist my writing efforts and use my laptop and phone to organise my day to day but even then I can mess it up, but who cares life is too darn short so I enjoy what I can when I can and they are all old enough to feed themselves n wash their clothes. I feel so much better after reading this page thanks so much


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