I have always wanted to go on an ocean cruise to Alaska; to see the glaciers, whales and amazing skies. Someday that dream will happen, but until then at least I already know what the waves feel like since I experience those daily in my head. That’s the best way for me to describe to people the dizziness and vertigo I experience. Either that or sometimes I will tell people my head feels like it’s stuck in a shaken snow globe that’s waiting for the flakes to settle…only the flakes never do.
Most days it seems I am fighting a never-ending battle. There are times I wake up thinking all is good and that the spinning in my head is gone, but as soon as I get up and start going about my day…boom, it’s back. It never seems to go away for long. I think it just takes periodic bathroom breaks or trips to the refrigerator for a snack. I’ve tried to talk it into moving to Kalamazoo, but for now it seems to have no plans on leaving.
Living with vertigo, or any multiple sclerosis symptom for that matter, is not an easy thing to deal with day in and day out. It can cause you to feel like an outcast and all alone. For many, that’s the very reason they give up and withdraw from life.
The pressure of trying to explain yourself all the time can be tiring, especially when those explanations are met with blank stares or unsympathetic responses. No one wants to be told to suck it up every time they are having a difficult moment. No one wants to feel like they are losing it because the symptoms have become too overwhelming.
Know that you are not delirious. What you are experiencing is real, and although it can be difficult to make it through the day, or even to get through the next 5 minutes, you have to keep going. Many times for me it becomes a moment by moment, one breath at a time kind of thing.
Choose to love yourself enough to hang on. Remember, you made it through yesterday, you made it through some other really tough times…you will get through today too!