Every day the ninja living inside of me kicks some MS butt

I understand how it feels to be drowning in medical bills, strained relationships, physical and mental exhaustion, stressful decision making and demanding responsibilities. Add to that the fact that I’m living every second of every day with multiple sclerosis and I might as well just crawl back into bed each morning before the sun even comes up and call it a day.

Somehow we face the impossible every moment of every day and yet as the day comes to a close, we always seem to make it. Many times I find myself climbing into bed feeling beat up, worn out, battered and bruised, but as I lay my head down on my pillow and take a moment to look back over the day, I realize that the ninja living inside of me kicked some MS butt.

Some days I push through bumper to bumper traffic with my legs and hands cramping up while my head is spinning making for an interesting ride. Most of the time it feels more like I’m on a roller coaster than an actual highway. The worst thing is when I get to the place I’m going to and I don’t quite make it to the bathroom in time. Those times happen more often than people realize. Thankfully I keep a change of clothes in my van and people don’t notice the magical change I make from black to tan pants.

As the day goes on I make mistake after mistake because I can’t keep my brain focused. Most of the time I’m pretty good at covering those kinds of things up. It takes great skill to stumble over words then turn them into something that makes sense. I think I’ve mastered the art of word replacement, finger pointing, hand gestures, and usage of the words thingamajig and doohickey fairly well.

Somehow I even manage to keep from burning down the house after forgetting about the casserole I put in the oven. Sure, it’s a little charred, but I am now an expert at scraping off the burnt parts and still producing something that’s edible.

Today may be an awful day for you, but it’s not the day you give up…even though you have every reason to do so. Instead, it’s the day you push through and remind yourself that if you can make it through the terrible, horrible day you had a few days ago…then you can surely get through today. Let your inner ninja loose and kick some MS butt.


7 replies
  1. Jim
    Jim says:

    Thank you for your column. Some days, I’m not sure that I can make it another minute at work because of the mental and physical fatigue, but it’s not until the day is finally over that I can breath easier — only to begin the dread of what tomorrow might bring. Luckily, my inner ninja gets a good night’s sleep, although it never feels like my sleep was long enough for me. Thanx, again.

  2. Rodger Ashton-Smith
    Rodger Ashton-Smith says:

    Thanks for the imagery Penelope. Have you seen anyone about your toilet problems?
    I have found the spc has helped me control my bladder/bowel systems very well.
    Now I can go through a mainly music session without any embarrassing problem. This has helped me deal with these systems in a more comfortable time and I can feel when I need to go and delay it when I can be do it.

    • Penelope Conway
      Penelope Conway says:

      I have a suprapubic catheter for the bladder so that’s no longer an issue aside from a month change of catheter. The bowel is what give me the most problem since I have no muscle control. I take miralax every day which helps me to be a bit more regular and I’m fairly good at timing my bathroom trips when I’m home. I just hate when I am out somewhere and don’t have close access to a bathroom. That’s normally when I have problems.

  3. Tiffany
    Tiffany says:

    YES!!! I’am going to kick some ninja butt today 🙂 Thank You Penelope for reminding me about the ninja inside of me, as usual this is a wonderful reminder cause I really wanted to climb into bed or on the couch but NO WAY I’am a Warrior Fighter who has a ninja just chomping to do his business!!! So BIG HUGS to you Penelope and all of the ninjas out there, lets kick some booty 🙂

  4. Carla L Broadbent Rogers
    Carla L Broadbent Rogers says:

    As always, you are better than any drug out there. Have wonderful day filled with “What the’s”..”Oops”…and “That is the way I planned it”. Happy Mother’s Day to all. Be well.

  5. Sharon
    Sharon says:

    So needed this today. Tomorrow have a routine colonoscopy. The prep so does me in with this body. Any extra stress and we face it every day is such a challenge. Inspirational how you deal with it!


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