flight attendant

All aboard the Multiple Sclerosis Express

Ladies and gentlemen, this is the non-stop flight to a life with Multiple Sclerosis. On behalf of the Captain and the entire crew, welcome aboard.

In preparation for takeoff, please ensure all negative attitudes are properly stowed in an overhead bin. Please take your seat and fasten your seat belt.

At this time, we request that all stress, fear and worry be turned off for the duration of the flight, as these items might interfere with the central nervous system and communication processes of this aircraft. We request that all canes, braces, walkers and wheelchairs be secured until we have reached a stable altitude free from turbulence, wobbles and unsteady movements. We will notify you when it is safe to use such devices.

We remind you that this is a non-sleeping flight. Sleeping is prohibited, but we do have endless TV shows, movies and documentaries available for your viewing pleasure.

There are several emergency bathrooms on this aircraft. Please take a few moments now to locate your nearest bathroom. In some cases, your nearest bathroom might not be close enough. If you need to go immediately, I suggest you move quickly to ensure no accidents happen.

Blood tests and lesions are always being monitored. In the event of a relapse, an MRI machine will automatically appear in front of you. To start the scans, your head will be secured to a table and you will be inserted into a tight, claustrophobic tube. Although the machine is loud, you will be allowed music of your choosing to help drown out the sounds. Keep perfectly still without sneezing, scratching your nose or coughing until a uniformed attendant advises you it is all over.

In the event of an emergency, IV steroids are available and will be administered as needed.

We will hit turbulence along the way, but rest assured it won’t last. We will eventually pull above the storms and enter sunny skies. I expect good attitudes for our trip.

If you have any questions about our flight today, please don’t hesitate to ask one of our specialists. Thank you.

19 replies
  1. Tiffany
    Tiffany says:

    Completely too fuuunnyy I was truly laughing out loud 🙂 I will take this flight with my captain Penelope any time, thanks for making me laugh at such a horrible disease, YOU ROCK Penelope 🙂

  2. Rodger Ashton-Smith
    Rodger Ashton-Smith says:

    Thanks Penelope for a laugh. We are on a flight that a polite that is in control of our plane and keeps us safe. All help is supplied even if we can’t see them .

  3. Demelsa Dougherty
    Demelsa Dougherty says:

    This is so inspiring I thought and I thought about using these words to put on a plaque with a picture of an airplane behind it. It’s just an idea so far. So can I have your permission please?

  4. Chris
    Chris says:

    Great post! Thank you for getting us to always keep the positive attitude close by!! You are such an inspiration, thank you Captain Penelope!! ✈️🎢🌈🌤

  5. Carole K.
    Carole K. says:

    Hey Penelope,

    EXCELLENT post! Thank you for putting a smile on my face! You can be my wingman any day! ~ famous quote from Top Gun.



Leave a Reply

Want to join the discussion?
Feel free to contribute!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *