You don’t realize how many mornings I wake up and find myself unable to motivate, encourage and uplift others. Sometimes I am so down that I don’t even think I have anything left to actually give. Today is that struggle for me. I have often asked myself, “Who encourages the encourager because I could us some of that about now?”
But you know, somehow after I contemplate throwing my hands up in surrender and giving up, I find a bit of strength left to keep going. It’s not always easy to find but I find myself able to squeeze some out. It’s kind of like when you have an empty tube of toothpaste but instead of throwing it away you give it one last shot and get a few more uses out of it. Today, I feel like that empty tube of toothpaste. Used up, squeezed dry and empty.
The thing about it is that I know many of you face the day feeling the same way. You wake up feeling defeated even before the day actually starts. All motivation flies out the window or gets swept under the rug. I want you to know that you are not alone when you feel that way. I get there sometimes too. Yes, even the encourager gets discouraged.
Multiple sclerosis is kicking my butt. Lately I can’t hold onto much. Even my iPad is too heavy for me to hold onto. I think I dropped it at least four times yesterday. Dizziness is a constant, weakness is increasing, I find my voice is harder to eek out a syllable, my vision is wonky, and brain fog…wait what was I saying again.
I set my alarm to go off at 10 AM yesterday but when it went off, I forgot why it was even set. I am finding I need reminders for reminders and even then I forget what I was trying to remind myself of. Ugh! It’s such a vicious cycle.
One thing that encourages me is you. It’s true. You always remind me why I am doing what I’m doing and just how much you appreciate my efforts. You are my inspiration. You are the reason I do what I do. You laugh at my sarcastic, witty social media posts, you smile at my musings, and you encourage me. That is priceless.
Thank you for that.
If you are feeling defeated today, hang in there. There is still something left in today that is worth the effort. It may be tiny, it may be silly, it may be hard to find, but it’s worth the wait. Hang in there and know that you are too amazing and too important to end it all now.
Yes, depression is real and tears flow sometimes more than we care to admit, but know that you are not alone in this fight. You are going to get through this day. Take a break or even a nap if you need one. It really is okay to not have everything all together. You are only human and even humans lose it from time to time. Give yourself permission to break down. Then take a deep breath, shake off the defeatist thoughts and move forward. You got this!!!