My vision is truly awful and has only continued to decline. There isn’t really a word to accurately describe my eyesight woes. Just when everything seems to be getting better, MS sneaks in with a double whammy. Bam kapow!
Years ago I had my eyesight surgically corrected and it was one of the best decision I could have ever made. I no longer had to wear glasses or deal with dirty and fogged up lenses. It was great waking up and not having to reach for my glasses just to function normally.
MS eyesight troubles aren’t corrected with surgeries or glasses. It’s cause is nerve damage related which doesn’t have a quick fix. Oh, how I wish it did.
In order to surf the internet I have to increase the font size of the page I’m reading and then view it with one eye closed. If I don’t close one eye, everything blends together and I see all of the words with a drop shadow. So basically it’s double vision. It’s exhausting reading that way.
But my vision troubles don’t stop there. I also have lost color clarity in one of my eyes making everything I see void of vibrant colors. I have crazy blind spots, vertigo due to my inability to deal with rapid eye movements, and weakness caused by that vertigo.
I have to take lots of pauses throughout my day in order to lay my head against my chairs headrest, close my eyes and calm the craziness. And driving, I don’t do that much anymore these days. You’d be amazed how challenging things can get due to my inability to accurately judge distances between my van and other cars on the road, and that rapid eye movement problem only intensifies when the scenery around me keeps moving.
Shopping is challenging too because I have to scan the aisles in order to find a product I want and then once I find it I can’t read the fine print on the packaging. Just the other day I bought some pizza sauce that turned out to be spaghetti sauce. I felt like such an idiot after I got home and realized my mistake.
And of all things hot days only makes everything worse. When I get really hot I will actually lose my eyesight altogether. I guess my blind spots all just blend together making one gigantic spot.
Losing my independence is not an easy thing to deal with. At least it isn’t for me because I hate having to rely on other people’s schedules in order to get help.
To see or not to see, that is the question…and it doesn’t have an easy answer. Don’t lose hope when you face increased disability problems. Do as much as you can while you can and give yourself permission to trust that other people will step up to help you out. My experience is that help comes when you need it the most and generally from people that you least expected to step up and help.
Stay positive and never give up. You got this…you will get through this! xoxo