I live in a snow globe kind of world. The wind doesn’t blow and the rain doesn’t fall. Instead, the earth shakes and everything flips upside-down, right-side up, then upside-down again. The torrential swirls that are created sends shockwaves throughout my world and threatens to topple anything that isn’t nailed down.
Watching the flakes of snow slowly settling across the trees is the only moment of calm I seem to have. It is such a welcomed peace too and gives me the time I need to catch my breath before the shaking starts yet again.
I’ve tried to surf through the shakes and swirls. Some days I do pretty good at it too. Other times I wipe out at the first sign of a wave heading my way. Yesterday, I think I wiped out before the wave even started. I hate those kinds of days. Days where the tears flow more freely than smiles.
We all have days like that. I probably cried a bucket of tears, maybe even a bathtub full…I wasn’t measuring, but it was a lot. Being overwhelmed by life happens to us all. MS has the ability to do that to us quickly too. I can get overwhelmed just stepping out of bed in the morning. Now that takes great skill!
I couldn’t tell you why I was crying yesterday. I still don’t know why myself. I actually had a pretty good day. I made it to my appointments, got an updated prescription of muscle relaxers which is so important for me to help with the crazy spasticity in my muscles, and even made it to the grocery store for some much needed snacks. Even with all of that, somehow every fiber and cell in my body was screaming at me and the only way to release the pressure was through tears.
I hate days like that. But they happen even to the best of us. We can’t blame everything on MS, but for many of us our emotions are drastically affected by the imbalance in our brains and we can’t seem to control the tears, the laughter, or the shifts in our emotions. That’s hard to get used to or even to grasp the concept of.
But today…today is a new day. There have been no upside-down flips as of yet. For that I’m thankful. My suggestion, go with the flow. Ride out the swirls and the waves…and hang on tight. Some days can be really crazy, but you always make it. You always get through the upside-down, right-side up topsy-turvy moments.
Now, will someone see if they can superglue, nail or cement my snow globe to the table? No more flips today…please!