Multiple Sclerosis actually means Multiple Scars

If you could see my insides, you would see scar after scar after scar. I guess it makes sense that Multiple Sclerosis actually means Multiple Scars. You see, the nerves in my brain and spine have been chewed to bits…literally.

I tell people that the nerves in the body are much like the wiring in a house. Mine have been damaged to the point they are short-circuiting and signals are getting crossed. This causes terrible chaos in my life. I guess you could say I’m a real live wire.

I have some nerves with such extensive damage that repair cannot be made. In their place now exists a black hole. A scar so deep that nothing could ever live there again. If you took the time to learn of my scars, you would hear about what life is like for me. You would hear of the pain I endure, the way my brain confuses thoughts and words, how my tired is different than other people’s tired, and how parts of my body have gone numb and lost their ability to function.

But do you know what else you would hear? You would hear about how strong I am and how at the end of the day I’m still going. I won’t quit even though I’m covered in battle scars. Those scars are a part of my life now.

I may not be able to do the things I used to do because my wiring is a jumbled mess, but just because people can’t see what’s happening inside my body doesn’t mean the damage isn’t there. I wake up each day to a fight…a war. Not one that I chose, but one I must endure. At times I am battle weary, but I will never be a quitter and I will never lay down my sword. I’m a warrior that way.

My scars are laid out like a constellation visible only by an MRI. They shine bright even though they are hidden in the dark. When I pause to look at the stars in the nighttime sky, I see amazing beauty as I watch the lights twinkle and glow but did you know that stars are just broken pieces of matter? They are the scars of the universe and yet even though they are caused by tragedy, they give hope to millions.

Today your sword may be heavy and your body tired…but you are still going. Everything you accomplish is a victory no matter how small. Each muscle you move is a triumph. Regardless of what the day holds, you will not be defeated. You are a winner covered in scars bringing hope to others without your even knowing it. People watch how you live your life and are in awe of your tenacity and courage.

If I can endure, if I can keep going, if I can hold on…then I know you can too. Together we create an amazing display of sparkles in the universe. Together we shine bright. We will not be defeated or give up.

MS Gets on My NervesMS WarriorMS Superhero

 





16 replies
  1. Sabena
    Sabena says:

    Hi Penelope, thanks so much for your beautiful sharing, as well as the amazing quotes that you find. I read your blogs as I work with people living with MS. You bring hope and inspiration to the pain of the human condition, regardless of how the wounds and scars are caused. Wishing you every blessing 🙂

    Reply
  2. Peggy
    Peggy says:

    Love this!! A great way of explaining it. When I was 1st diagnosed and the neurologist said u have a black hole there
    My husband and I laughed and now say that things I forgot must’ve went into one 😉

    Reply
  3. Linda
    Linda says:

    I worked at a University until MS made it necessary for me to retire. In the lobby of our office was a beautiful sculpture, in shades of blues and greys, made by one of the students. Very modern, somewhat lattice like, it drew a lot of attention. Privately, we called it ” Linda’s Brain!”

    Reply
  4. Rodger Ashton-Smith
    Rodger Ashton-Smith says:

    Thanks Penelope I have been to the OT at the hospital I am in, and done a few standups and that is really good. I’m learning new ways to do things that are safer for me and easier for Janice. This is the first time I have been worked for helping me move. I have develop some bad habits and the way to do things, now I’m learning safe ways to do them. Also this the first time I have been looked after other than my wife and shown I didn’t need to dangerous and harmful to myself and/or others.

    Reply
  5. Christine Strena
    Christine Strena says:

    This was exactly what I needed this morning. “My scars are laid out like a constellation visible only by an MRI” Great imagery… and a great message. Thank you.

    Reply
  6. Meeya
    Meeya says:

    I absolutely love the sparkles-in-the-universe image you describe in your post. Thank you so much for creating another symbol of hope you gave us..!😘

    Reply

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