If you could see my insides, you would see scar after scar after scar. I guess it makes sense that Multiple Sclerosis actually means Multiple Scars. You see, the nerves in my brain and spine have been chewed to bits…literally.
I tell people that the nerves in the body are much like the wiring in a house. Mine have been damaged to the point they are short-circuiting and signals are getting crossed. This causes terrible chaos in my life. I guess you could say I’m a real live wire.
I have some nerves with such extensive damage that repair cannot be made. In their place now exists a black hole. A scar so deep that nothing could ever live there again. If you took the time to learn of my scars, you would hear about what life is like for me. You would hear of the pain I endure, the way my brain confuses thoughts and words, how my tired is different than other people’s tired, and how parts of my body have gone numb and lost their ability to function.
But do you know what else you would hear? You would hear about how strong I am and how at the end of the day I’m still going. I won’t quit even though I’m covered in battle scars. Those scars are a part of my life now.
I may not be able to do the things I used to do because my wiring is a jumbled mess, but just because people can’t see what’s happening inside my body doesn’t mean the damage isn’t there. I wake up each day to a fight…a war. Not one that I chose, but one I must endure. At times I am battle weary, but I will never be a quitter and I will never lay down my sword. I’m a warrior that way.
My scars are laid out like a constellation visible only by an MRI. They shine bright even though they are hidden in the dark. When I pause to look at the stars in the nighttime sky, I see amazing beauty as I watch the lights twinkle and glow but did you know that stars are just broken pieces of matter? They are the scars of the universe and yet even though they are caused by tragedy, they give hope to millions.
Today your sword may be heavy and your body tired…but you are still going. Everything you accomplish is a victory no matter how small. Each muscle you move is a triumph. Regardless of what the day holds, you will not be defeated. You are a winner covered in scars bringing hope to others without your even knowing it. People watch how you live your life and are in awe of your tenacity and courage.
If I can endure, if I can keep going, if I can hold on…then I know you can too. Together we create an amazing display of sparkles in the universe. Together we shine bright. We will not be defeated or give up.