Weather can be so unpredictable. I would love to be able to tell it to snow on the hottest day in July, or to rain when not one drop of water has been seen for months, or to make a storm dissolve and disappear. But no matter how hard I try, I can’t make those things happen. The wind didn’t ask me which way to blow today. The sun didn’t even get my permission to come up in the first place.
I actually think the weather is more predictable than multiple sclerosis. One day I may wake up feeling as if I can conquer the world and other days I feel as if the world has conquered me. No matter how prepared I think I am or how much I try to guess what tomorrow may bring, the unplanned and unexpected happens.
Overnight, MS seems to have some kind of party in my body, or a revolt (I haven’t figured out which one), causing radical changes that I hadn’t planned for. If I could choose, I would make it all go away. There are days I would love to be able to tell my legs to march forward, my voice to speak louder, or the pain to take a vacation, but I can’t simply wish my MS away. That would be wonderful if I could.
If something isn’t working, don’t get down on yourself or allow your emotions to overwhelm you with fears and worries. You are living in a different world now with a different kind of “normal.” The only control you have is in how you respond to the unpredictable and how you react to the changes. Believe me, you will have plenty of opportunities to work on those things.
Some days I’m a pro at it, other times not so much. Today I would much rather hide away in my bed and avoid everything happening around me but I can’t seem to convince my brain to let me…so I get up.
The most important thing I have learned is to be thankful for each new day I am given and to cherish the people in my life. Those are the things that really matter anyway. You can’t relive yesterday and you can’t live tomorrow in advance…all you have is right now, this very moment. Make the most out of every second of it.
Don’t give MS the satisfaction of consuming your day and overloading your emotions. That’s the one thing you do have control over. So shove MS out of the drivers seat and you take the wheel. You’re in charge of today. You decide how fast you go, if you need to pull over into a rest stop for a break, or if you take the scenic route.
I’m spending my day stuck in the mechanic shop getting a flat tire fixed surrounded by the smell of rubber tires, grease and stale coffee. I just wish MS was as easy to deal with as a flat tire and could be fix as easy.