At the end of an exhausting day yesterday, I collapsed into my bed and tried to sleep. You know, that thing where you curl up, close your eyes, snore and drool? Unfortunately, it didn’t work out for me last night.
I spent the entire time awake through the yawns. I even tried counting sheep but they were no help. I think they actually went to sleep without me because at some point in the night I ran out of sheep to count. Now, here I am still awake at 5:30 AM watching the sun come up and wondering how I’m going to get through my already exhausted day.
Just so you know…
I know what it’s like to lie down in the bed at the end of the day only to watch the clock as the minutes tick by with each passing hour.
I know about those moments you are about to drift off to sleep when your brain suddenly gets this weird burst of energy and decides to wake up and ponder everything ponderable.
I know the feeling of frustration and discouragement when MS seems to be winning the battle with sleep as muscle spasms and pain relentlessly pulse through your body.
I know what it’s like to drag yourself out of bed in the morning so exhausted, and with your muscles so tight, that you can’t move gracefully…or even at all.
I know how it feels to stumble into the kitchen to start your day when your entire body feels like you woke up with a hangover times ten.
I know how hard it is to put a smile on your face when you at greeted by a cheery “good morning” from your spouse, child or hungry dog.
I know what it’s like to think to yourself day in and day out, “If only I could sleep through the night, life would be so much better.”
I know what it’s like to be chronically tired.
I can’t promise you that you will ever feel completely rested when you get out of bed each morning even if you’ve slept through the night, but I can promise you that you will make it through your exhausting day…eventually, minute by minute, step by step.
Hang in there today. You’re doing great, even if you are too tired to see it. Living with multiple sclerosis is truly exhausting but you will make it through your day and you will be stronger for it.