I love surprises. Well, the good kind of surprises. Things like an unexpected gift, a found 5 dollar bill in your jeans pocket that you didn’t know was there, a pay-it-forward drink at the coffee shop, or waking up to a clean kitchen that you left dirty before going to bed. I welcome those kinds of surprises any day of the week.
The kind I don’t like, especially with multiple sclerosis, are the sudden new symptoms that just show up out of the blue and then never go away. That’s always how mine seem to happen.
Since last week a numbness has been increasing across the upper left side of my face and head. It is to the point now that I can’t feel a part of my forehead and even my left eyeball. It’s kind of weird being numb there, almost like someone gave me a shot at the dentist to numb my mouth only they missed my mouth and injected it into my head instead.
Thankfully I can still blink my eye and move the muscles in my face, but it sure is strange to rub that part of my face and not feel it. I find myself being extra cautious when I do so I don’t accidentally scratch myself.
I’m sure the doctor will put me on a round of steroids to slow down the unwelcome activity in my brain that is causing this new surprise. I would love it if MS would just take a vacation already. Better yet, if while on vacation it got eaten by a shark, hit by an astroid and then vaporized in a sudden explosive lava flow. (You can’t be too cautious in wishing for just one disaster to happen.)
But, since that won’t be happening any time soon I am going to have to get used to my new normal. You’d think I’d be used to doing that by now. Trust me, you never get there. From the onset of MS in my life I have had to deal with some crazy symptoms. Things like ringing in my ears, swallowing difficulties, a decrease in color clarity in my vision, and muscles that twitch and seem to have a mind of their own.
My hope is that this new symptom with subside soon but if it doesn’t, that I will be able to work around the discomfort and new weirdness I’m experiencing. Sometimes that kind of thing is easy to do but sometimes it has this way of rocking your world and taking you to a place you really don’t want to go.
I’ve already had my moment of tears, my cry in the shower time of me washing my tears down the drain. If only I could wash my MS symptoms away as easily as that. But regardless of everything that is happening in my life, I’m going to keep pushing through. You have to do the same thing. Don’t let new progression, new symptoms, or new changes keep you down.
Even though I don’t personally know you, I can tell you that I genuinely love you and that everything is truly going to be okay. I mean that. Don’t allow yourself to become overwhelmed by the changes in your life or the journey you find yourself facing. I’m hoping with you for a better tomorrow.