Could someone please tell me what sick is supposed to look like. I am apparently doing it all wrong. It’s amazing how many people tell me that I look good. I don’t know whether to be grateful that they care or sad that they don’t even attempt to understand my struggle. My outside is nothing but a costume covering a body filled with chaos. I must be wearing it well.
If you could take a look at my insides, my body is screaming at me all day long. From the moment I wake up until the time I go to bed I fight a battle. Sometimes I receive blows that send me toppling to the floor. Sometimes I hurt. Sometimes I cry. And sometimes I laugh so hard that I hurt and cry all at the same time. It’s not an easy existence, that’s for sure.
I don’t think the world will ever understand what we go through from the moment we wake up until the time we go to bed. Right now I am sitting on the couch hoping for the vertigo spinning in my head to find a place of calm, for my thoughts to collect themselves, for my hands to stop trembling, for my eyesight to see the world around me clearly, and for my body to gain some strength. There must be an energy zapper in my house somewhere but I can’t seem to find it.
When you are surrounded by people who just don’t get it, don’t lose heart. At times, multiple sclerosis can be a lonely disease to deal with. I hope you know that you aren’t alone in this fight. We are all in this together.
Take any hurtful comments people have made about how you should be living with MS and toss them to the side. Unless they are living in your body they just won’t get it. Don’t hold it against them. Most of the time I don’t get MS either, and I live with it.
Hold your head high today, that’s the only thing you need to be carrying…and wear it well. I’m proud of you.