I create new words and sentences that actually mean nothing

Words. We all use them. When we aren’t speaking them out loud, we are thinking them in our heads or writing them down on scraps of paper. Not one day goes by without the use of words. My words, though, seem to come out all mixed up. It’s as if someone took my vocabulary, put it into a blender and then dumped all the chopped up words on a table. Only somehow, some of the words got lost in the mix. Maybe the dog ate them. I think I’ve seen him talking when he thought no one was watching.

While writing, somehow I seem to put words together into sentences that don’t actually belong together and leave me scratching my head wondering “What was I trying to say.” Proofing my writing takes a lot of patience. It’s just as bad when I talk. I will say something and then pause for a moment wondering “What did I just say?” I know I have left people scratching their heads in bewilderment as I matter-of-factly explain something I need done, then wonder why they aren’t doing what I asked.

Somehow I hear everything correctly inside my head but the words that exit my mouth or get put down on paper…well, they aren’t the ones I was actually thinking of. It’s the old “bait and switch” routine that my brain plays with me. He’s a sneaky bugger.

It’s crazy how the filter between my brain and fingers, or my brain and mouth, seems to get things all mixed up. I wonder if there’s a replacement filter I can install? They make oil filters for my car that have to be replaced after so many miles of use. Can I get a word filter replacement for my brain, please?

And don’t even suggest turning on auto correct. Auto correct messes me up even more. I am convinced it’s trying to take over the world. It will rewrite my sentences into different words and insert random words that have nothing to do with what I’m trying to say. That’s when I get really confused. Many times as I look at something I’ve written, I’m left wondering what I was even trying to say in the first place.

According to auto correct, not only do I “create new words” but I’m “cursing bee wigs” too. I didn’t even know bees had wigs. I’ve heard something mentioned once about bees knees, but never about wigs. Do they even have hair?

Oh, the joys of multiple sclerosis. If you can’t laugh, you will have a miserable time in the days and years ahead. Laugh and keep on laughing. Or as auto correct just corrected me, “lift and keep on lifting.”

MS Gets on My NervesMS WarriorMS Superhero


8 replies
  1. Roland R Clarke
    Roland R Clarke says:

    This got me laughing – and crying. A daily struggle involving my fingers, lips, and toes – no, tongue bow tied. Love your attitude to this MaSterMaSh.

  2. madeline newton
    madeline newton says:

    well you just were able to put into words on here what we all are having to deal with …have a wonderful day and enjoy life…

  3. Peggy Wills
    Peggy Wills says:

    Love this! That autocorrect is worse than my actual ‘word salad’! My hubby and son have gotten text from me that make no sense whatsoever! Oh what fun we have! Not to mention my constant “.. that’s not the word I meant to say…..oh what was it??? 😃

  4. Rodger Ashton-Smith
    Rodger Ashton-Smith says:

    Thanks Penelope I have occasionally lost words and tried to find a way of saying then differently. It can be fun too.

  5. bunny
    bunny says:

    girl you are a superhero 🦸🏼‍♀️.. always able to write something that hits home.
    i look so forward to your posts but understand if you can’t.
    thank you for your honesty and humor…. the best medicine around!!
    thank you for what you do for us , sending hugs 🤗

  6. Carla L Broadbent Rogers
    Carla L Broadbent Rogers says:

    Oh words, those wonderful words. At times I am happy that they are not solid objects, I would trip over them or they would become another cat toy. Be well. Smile and laugh, those belong to you and you only.

  7. Leslie
    Leslie says:

    Hi Penelope – Thank you for your blog! Your posts are just what I have been needing, the voice of a positive, understanding friend. I discovered your page recently when looking for MS cartoons and found the “Stages of MS”. It was just what I needed, a humorous way to share with my boyfriend that I am not making excuses or making stuff up! He gets very impatient when I lose words or can’t get them out fast enough or loud enough, or don’t walk fast enough, or don’t get enough done around the house because I was too tired and slept all day, and too sick with stomach/gut/bladder/bowel issues that are probably partly from MS and partly not, but who knows, certainly not my doctors. It isn’t going to change anytime soon, and getting impatient with me and pissed off because I don’t want to go anywhere only makes it worse. After 20 years together, 15 of them with MS, you’d think he would have it figured out by now… 😉

  8. Stephen
    Stephen says:

    I write with a dictation app that often misunderstands me and uses the “wrong” word. Add that to my own garbled mind, sometimes I go back to edit and have no idea what I was talking about. Cursing bee wigs, indeed!


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