Words. We all use them. When we aren’t speaking them out loud, we are thinking them in our heads or writing them down on scraps of paper. Not one day goes by without the use of words. My words, though, seem to come out all mixed up. It’s as if someone took my vocabulary, put it into a blender and then dumped all the chopped up words on a table. Only somehow, some of the words got lost in the mix. Maybe the dog ate them. I think I’ve seen him talking when he thought no one was watching.
While writing, somehow I seem to put words together into sentences that don’t actually belong together and leave me scratching my head wondering “What was I trying to say.” Proofing my writing takes a lot of patience. It’s just as bad when I talk. I will say something and then pause for a moment wondering “What did I just say?” I know I have left people scratching their heads in bewilderment as I matter-of-factly explain something I need done, then wonder why they aren’t doing what I asked.
Somehow I hear everything correctly inside my head but the words that exit my mouth or get put down on paper…well, they aren’t the ones I was actually thinking of. It’s the old “bait and switch” routine that my brain plays with me. He’s a sneaky bugger.
It’s crazy how the filter between my brain and fingers, or my brain and mouth, seems to get things all mixed up. I wonder if there’s a replacement filter I can install? They make oil filters for my car that have to be replaced after so many miles of use. Can I get a word filter replacement for my brain, please?
And don’t even suggest turning on auto correct. Auto correct messes me up even more. I am convinced it’s trying to take over the world. It will rewrite my sentences into different words and insert random words that have nothing to do with what I’m trying to say. That’s when I get really confused. Many times as I look at something I’ve written, I’m left wondering what I was even trying to say in the first place.
According to auto correct, not only do I “create new words” but I’m “cursing bee wigs” too. I didn’t even know bees had wigs. I’ve heard something mentioned once about bees knees, but never about wigs. Do they even have hair?
Oh, the joys of multiple sclerosis. If you can’t laugh, you will have a miserable time in the days and years ahead. Laugh and keep on laughing. Or as auto correct just corrected me, “lift and keep on lifting.”