Entries by Penelope Conway

Sometimes living with multiple sclerosis…all I can do is sit and cry

I remember as a kid taking time to lie in the grass, look up at the sky and discover a world of cloud shaped wonders. Once I saw a bunny eat an elephant, then it pooped out a bear. It seems the impossible can happen with a little bit of imagination and a sky full of clouds. I mean, who ever heard of a bunny eating an elephant before? But I saw it happen right before my very eyes.

What’s sick supposed to look like?

Could someone please tell me what sick is supposed to look like. I am apparently doing it all wrong. It’s amazing how many people tell me that I look good. I don’t know whether to be grateful that they care or sad that they don’t even attempt to understand my struggle. My outside is nothing but a costume covering a body filled with chaos. I must be wearing it well.

When taking a shower hurts

There are times I wish everyone would just go away and leave me alone so I can clear my head and distance myself from all the drama, arguments, pain and chaos in the world; to find such a place where I can cry as much as I need to and let out a scream or two from time to time—even if only for 5 minutes.

I never thought I would be living with a chronic illness

Something that never crossed my mind growing up was being diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. It wasn’t even something I thought about…or even knew about. I never thought a chronic illness would end up forcing me out of a career that I loved causing me to have to stay home much of the time because of mobility and accessibility difficulties and requiring regular visits from a home healthcare nurse to help me manage everyday life. My plans were so much bigger than that. I dreamed of greatness. I was going places. I was doing things. I had arrived.

The Myelin Munchers strike again

No one knows exactly when it began, but there is a serial kleptomaniac on the loose that seems to only have an interest in myelin: AKA the Myelin Muncher. With all the myelin that has been stolen over the years, you’d think there would be more evidence left behind, but this thief is pretty good at covering all its tracks. It seems to be a professional inside hit job.

Be a champion multiple sclerosis warrior

It’s really easy to get discouraged living with a chronic illness especially when your plans, dreams, and hopes have all been crushed, sometimes destroyed, changing your life more than you ever thought possible. Some of the changes are minor like a numb finger that annoys the heck out of you and some are more catastrophic like losing your eyesight or your ability to walk.

Overcoming the critical, negative thinkers when It comes to living with multiple sclerosis

In today’s world, we are constantly being made to believe that something is wrong with us because we have multiple sclerosis. Those of us using walking aids, wheelchairs and braces, for some reason are seen as attention seekers and broken. We move much too slow for this fast paced world and they seem to think something is wrong with that. And those who don’t need assistive devices; the stumbling, pain, emotional moments, and memory difficulties are viewed in the same way.

We all need a break sometimes

I will be taking a few days break from my morning blog writing. We all need time to rest and this is my time. I will miss sharing with you, but will be back Tuesday, July 23rd ready to fill your day with smiles and encouragement once again. I hope you know that I will miss you!

I can’t go through life pretending that everything is okay

This is the truth…the raw truth of a person living with multiple sclerosis. I can’t pretend that everything is okay, because the truth is, it’s not. Let’s get this out in the open instead of constantly whispering about it in the shadows. I am living with a chronic illness. There is no magic cure and no way of knowing how it will affect me in the years to come.