Entries by Penelope Conway

A life with multiple sclerosis is hard…that’s just me telling it like it is.

A life with multiple sclerosis is hard. There’s no nice way to put it. I could lie and tell of all the cool things life brings to sway you to the opposite side. I could give you a bunch of blessings and sweet moments that have happened along the way to change your mind but I would be fooling myself. Those people that say life isn’t hard, you’re just living it wrong…I’d like to smack them upside the head or strangle them. They aren’t living in reality.

When the simple things are no longer simple

Most people don’t have to think about doing the simple things in life like answering the door when an unexpected visitor arrives, picking up some toilet paper at the grocery store or helping out a friend until something like multiple sclerosis comes along and messes with those seemingly simple tasks or plans. Sure, they have to juggle other plans around in order to fit the sudden change into their day, but most of the time those shifts are simple to make.

Being thankful in the world of multiple sclerosis

Being thankful when you’re hurting seems like an impossible thing to do. How in the world can anyone live a life of gratitude in the middle of a life of pain? You may be looking at everything happening in your life right now and thinking I’m crazy to even suggest such a thing. Being thankful with Multiple Sclerosis on top of everything else going on in life? Yeah, right!

You are going to make it

I’m starting to get used to a life of change. Don’t you just hate it when “normal” keeps changing on you? My normal today is drastically different than it was a few years ago. Comparing milestone markers in my life by looking at my progressions from year to year, and sometimes month to month, is the only way I can actually determine just how much my disability is changing.

I create new words and sentences that actually mean nothing

Words. We all use them. When we aren’t speaking them out loud, we are thinking them in our heads or writing them down on scraps of paper. Not one day goes by without the use of words. My words, though, seem to come out all mixed up. It’s as if someone took my vocabulary, put it into a blender and then dumped all the chopped up words on a table. Only somehow, some of the words got lost in the mix. Maybe the dog ate them. I think I’ve seen him talking when he thought no one was watching.

Beautifully broken

Some say that I’m broken. They look at my past mistakes in life and even at the fact that I’m living with multiple sclerosis, and all they seem to see is cracks and imperfections. But the most amazing thing happens when you hold me up to the light. You may see my broken places…but, you will also see what makes me beautiful, because in those cracks are the stories of overcoming and standing strong.