In today’s world, we are constantly being made to believe that something is wrong with us because we have multiple sclerosis. Those of us using walking aids, wheelchairs and braces, for some reason are seen as attention seekers and broken. We move much too slow for this fast paced world and they seem to think something is wrong with that. And those who don’t need assistive devices; the stumbling, pain, emotional moments, and memory difficulties are viewed in the same way.
Author Archive for: penelope
About Penelope Conway
It was November 21, 2011, that Penelope Conway was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. She had no prior symptoms or signs and onset was quick. Within three weeks time, she was experiencing numbness to the right side of her face, right torso, and both legs; was having bladder and bowel dysfunction; and optic neuritis set in causing her to lose color in the left eye along with giving her blurred vision. The doctors didn’t take long to come to a diagnosis. After an MRI and a spinal tap, it was clear… this was Multiple Sclerosis.
She had a hard time coming to terms with being diagnosed with a chronic illness. After all, she had plans, and MS was not one of them. And what was MS anyway? She spent the next few months researching and digging for information. The information she found was scary, but deep inside, she knew that this was not the end to her life or to what she was capable of becoming. Many nights, she cried and was still in denial, but as the months passed, she began to see that even though she was in pain every day and her body limited her, there was still a life to be lived… and she was determined to live it.
Entries by Penelope Conway
I will be taking a few days break from my morning blog writing. We all need time to rest and this is my time. I will miss sharing with you, but will be back Tuesday, July 23rd ready to fill your day with smiles and encouragement once again. I hope you know that I will miss you!
This is the truth…the raw truth of a person living with multiple sclerosis. I can’t pretend that everything is okay, because the truth is, it’s not. Let’s get this out in the open instead of constantly whispering about it in the shadows. I am living with a chronic illness. There is no magic cure and no way of knowing how it will affect me in the years to come.
One of the scarier moments for me in this life with multiple sclerosis is when my throat closes up and refused to allow me to swallow. Many times I have to actually convince those muscles to actually function. Last night was one of those times.
When terrible things happen, one of the first things to disappear in the chaos is laughter. Somehow all the smiles and giggles that once filled the day get tossed to the wind and pushed aside due to things like fear, anger, sadness and worries.
You pushed your way into my life at a time when things were going great. Future plans were in place and I was working hard to make them a reality. As you weaseled your way in, you blindsiding me and forcing me off the path I was on.
Have you ever felt like your whole life was falling apart before your very eyes and that no matter how hard you tried you couldn’t do anything to stop it? That the very ones you thought would stand beside you forever turned and walked away? That in each passing day a wave of hopelessness flooded your heart and clouded your mind, inching you closer and closer to simply giving up? That just the thought of facing one more day filled your heart with tremendous pain, fear and too much uncertainty to manage?
I love surprises. Well, the good kind of surprises. Things like an unexpected gift, a found 5 dollar bill in your jeans pocket that you didn’t know was there, a pay-it-forward drink at the coffee shop, or waking up to a clean kitchen that you left dirty before going to bed. I welcome those kinds of surprises any day of the week.
I don’t have much to say today other than it’s raining outside and I refuse to let it rain inside too. I know that’s something easier said than done but regardless of how things may look, I’m determined to find the good around me.
I went to sleep early last night after taking a muscle relaxer due to spasms in my legs and hands, a pain pill because the pain was relentless and unsettling, and melatonin to hopefully help me sleep if those didn’t do the trick. I woke up this morning in a daze not remembering much of anything from last night…or from any night for that matter.
- Simplify your life.
- Watch your thoughts. What goes in, comes out.
- Surround yourself with positive people.
- Take time for yourself, even if it means saying "no" to others.
- Be grateful, laugh and celebrate life.
- Think more about what you have as opposed to what you don't have.
- Help others.
About Positive Living with MS
Positive Living with MS was started by Penelope Conway after she was diagnosed with MS. She found few resources for positive encouragement; to laugh, cry, share, and just feel normal in the midst of a life of chaos; so she decided to start something herself. Positive Living with MS was birthed out of Penelope’s desire to show others that regardless of the challenge, we can all enjoy life to the fullest and find a smile in the storm.