Entries by Penelope Conway

I create new words and sentences that actually mean nothing

Words. We all use them. When we aren’t speaking them out loud, we are thinking them in our heads or writing them down on scraps of paper. Not one day goes by without the use of words. My words, though, seem to come out all mixed up. It’s as if someone took my vocabulary, put it into a blender and then dumped all the chopped up words on a table. Only somehow, some of the words got lost in the mix. Maybe the dog ate them. I think I’ve seen him talking when he thought no one was watching.

Beautifully broken

Some say that I’m broken. They look at my past mistakes in life and even at the fact that I’m living with multiple sclerosis, and all they seem to see is cracks and imperfections. But the most amazing thing happens when you hold me up to the light. You may see my broken places…but, you will also see what makes me beautiful, because in those cracks are the stories of overcoming and standing strong.

I dare you to live

Even though I have my moments of weakness and difficulties, I never want to throw the towel in and give up because of my limitations. I want to keep going until I no long can. Yes, I’m that stubborn. But to me that kind of stubborn can be a good thing. As long as I’m not harming myself or others, my stubbornness is the push I need to keep going. Believe me, if I wanted I would have given up months ago…years ago…but that’s just not in me to do.

What is MS?

I have had people ask me, “What is MS?” If I say it stands for multiple sclerosis. It’s a chronic progressive disease where the nerves in the brain and spinal cord, and the optic nerves in the eyes become damaged as the outer coating on the nerves called myelin gets eaten away by the immune system causing numbness, speech impairment, muscle coordination difficulties, blurred vision and severe fatigue (and that’s just the tip of the iceberg of what we go through)…I tend to get a blank stare and “huh” comes tumbling out of their mouth. Either that or they proceed to give me their cure for this incurable disease or tell me about a relative of theirs with MS that died.