I looked up the word discourage in the dictionary this morning. I know that may sound silly, but I wanted to know exactly what it meant. My brain doesn’t let me remember things like that any more. According to Webster’s Dictionary, discourage means to deprive of courage, hope, or confidence. Wow…lately I guess you could say I have been deprived of courage, hope and confidence.
Author Archive for: penelope
About Penelope Conway
It was November 21, 2011, that Penelope Conway was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. She had no prior symptoms or signs and onset was quick. Within three weeks time, she was experiencing numbness to the right side of her face, right torso, and both legs; was having bladder and bowel dysfunction; and optic neuritis set in causing her to lose color in the left eye along with giving her blurred vision. The doctors didn’t take long to come to a diagnosis. After an MRI and a spinal tap, it was clear… this was Multiple Sclerosis.
She had a hard time coming to terms with being diagnosed with a chronic illness. After all, she had plans, and MS was not one of them. And what was MS anyway? She spent the next few months researching and digging for information. The information she found was scary, but deep inside, she knew that this was not the end to her life or to what she was capable of becoming. Many nights, she cried and was still in denial, but as the months passed, she began to see that even though she was in pain every day and her body limited her, there was still a life to be lived… and she was determined to live it.
Entries by Penelope Conway
My dream is to one day walk down the street and be greeted as me rather than my disability. To be approached with a hello and a handshake rather than head turns and stares. For those with questions about my disability to actually ask them rather than assuming and then whispering to their friends. For people to realize that I’m really not the one with the disability….people with a lack of empathy, understanding and love, those are the real disabled in the world.
One thing multiple sclerosis has done for me is weed out the people in my life that were only there for the ride, not the journey. So many times people proudly boast about the great numbers of people they know, but are those people really friends? I can almost guarantee you that a majority of them are what I would consider fair-weather friends…
What a tough week so far. I just woke up for the day and here it is 9 AM. That is just so not like me. Normally I will not sleep well through the night and yet still be awake by 6 AM. I tossed and turned though the night listening to a thunder storm (which actually for me is quiet soothing)…
Dear Weary One,
I know your heart is heavy. Right now you are on the verge of tears…tears that have been collecting deep in the spaces of your heart and flooding over into your mind. You have met reality face to face and you don’t like it one bit. Multiple Sclerosis is your reality. It’s real and you feel it deep…
How can anyone live with a chronic illness and still smile? How is it that I am able to find happiness after a disease has stolen away a flourishing career, ended friendships, isolated me from much of the world, and many times confined me to my house? How is it that I am not falling apart along with the rest of my world?
There are times I wish everyone would just go away and leave me alone so I can clear my head and distance myself from all the drama, arguments, pain and chaos in the world; to find such a place where I can cry as much as I need to and let out a scream or two from time to time—even if only for 5 minutes…
This week, Monday came and went without incident. The only problem is that I don’t remember Saturday or Sunday having been lived through. I have tried hard thinking about the weekend but the only thing I can remember is that I can’t remember…
Words. We all use them. When we aren’t speaking them out loud, we are thinking them in our heads or writing them down on scraps of paper. Not one day goes by without the use of words. My words, though, seem to come out all mixed up…
I remember as a kid taking time to lie in the grass, look up at the sky and discover a world of cloud shaped wonders. Once I saw a bunny eat an elephant, then it pooped out a bear. It seems the impossible can happen with a little bit of imagination and a sky full of clouds. I mean, who ever heard of a bunny eating an elephant before? But I saw it happen right before my very eyes…
- Simplify your life.
- Watch your thoughts. What goes in, comes out.
- Surround yourself with positive people.
- Take time for yourself, even if it means saying "no" to others.
- Be grateful, laugh and celebrate life.
- Think more about what you have as opposed to what you don't have.
- Help others.
About Positive Living with MS
Positive Living with MS was started by Penelope Conway who was diagnosed with MS in 2013. She found few resources for positive encouragement; to laugh, cry, share, and just feel normal in the midst of a life of chaos; so she decided to start something herself. Positive Living with MS was birthed out of Penelope’s desire to show others that regardless of the challenge, we can all enjoy life to the fullest and find a smile in the storm.