Entries by Penelope Conway

We are warriors fighting in a battle that many will never see

I looked up the word discourage in the dictionary this morning. I know that may sound silly, but I wanted to know exactly what it meant. My brain doesn’t let me remember things like that any more. According to Webster’s Dictionary, discourage means to deprive of courage, hope, or confidence. Wow…lately I guess you could say I have been deprived of courage, hope and confidence.

When people stare

My dream is to one day walk down the street and be greeted as me rather than my disability. To be approached with a hello and a handshake rather than head turns and stares. For those with questions about my disability to actually ask them rather than assuming and then whispering to their friends. For people to realize that I’m really not the one with the disability….people with a lack of empathy, understanding and love, those are the real disabled in the world.

Dear Weary One…

Dear Weary One,
I know your heart is heavy. Right now you are on the verge of tears…tears that have been collecting deep in the spaces of your heart and flooding over into your mind. You have met reality face to face and you don’t like it one bit. Multiple Sclerosis is your reality. It’s real and you feel it deep…

Today, we fight…

How can anyone live with a chronic illness and still smile? How is it that I am able to find happiness after a disease has stolen away a flourishing career, ended friendships, isolated me from much of the world, and many times confined me to my house?  How is it that I am not falling apart along with the rest of my world?

When taking a shower hurts

There are times I wish everyone would just go away and leave me alone so I can clear my head and distance myself from all the drama, arguments, pain and chaos in the world; to find such a place where I can cry as much as I need to and let out a scream or two from time to time—even if only for 5 minutes…

I don’t remember

This week, Monday came and went without incident. The only problem is that I don’t remember Saturday or Sunday having been lived through. I have tried hard thinking about the weekend but the only thing I can remember is that I can’t remember…

Sometimes all I can do is just sit and cry

I remember as a kid taking time to lie in the grass, look up at the sky and discover a world of cloud shaped wonders. Once I saw a bunny eat an elephant, then it pooped out a bear. It seems the impossible can happen with a little bit of imagination and a sky full of clouds. I mean, who ever heard of a bunny eating an elephant before? But I saw it happen right before my very eyes…