Creating a balanced MS Life

I’ve always heard that balance in life is essential. I have a feeling the person who originally penned that thought didn’t have multiple sclerosis. I can no more balance my body on a flat surface than my life on a daily basis. I can’t even balance my check book due to the financial strain of living with a chronic illness. A balanced life with MS sounds more like an oxymoron than a reality.

How do you balance a life that is constantly changing and where the unexpected is more expected than the chance of rain in today’s weather forecast? Each day with MS is an irregular experience filled with obstacles and booby traps. How do you balance a life like that?

I gave up trying to plan my day in advance. Before MS, I was an organized, planned individual with my day planner in hand everywhere I went and a memory like an elephant. I remembered birthdays, holidays, anniversaries, and special occasions. I could remember anything I read, heard or saw. I even earned the nickname “Human Google” and was the go-to person when someone had a question.

Now, I have a hard time remembering what day it is, what I did yesterday and what the name of the main characters are in ‘Friends’. I burn pizza in the oven, lose my way driving to the grocery store and forget to wash the shampoo out of my hair while I’m in the shower. You have no idea how many times I have gotten out of the shower, dried myself off, then realized my hair was still sudsy. Even my no-fail plans to remember things don’t help me remember. I lose post-it notes, forget to set alarms and can’t comprehend my own text messages to myself.

It would be wonderful to know what a day will be like: to plan and be able to keep those plans, to go to parties without leaving early, to spend time with friends without falling asleep on them, to spring clean the house without regretting it later, or even to wash and detail the car without dropping the wash rag every few minutes.

Even though I have trouble doing some of the simplest of things in life, I try to do them anyway…and that’s what counts. I try to do as much as I can when I can and leave the rest to tomorrow.

Because of MS, I have learned that balance has nothing to do with ensuring equal time with work, fun, and family. It’s not about pleasing others or how much I can get done in a day. It’s about going with the flow and doing those things that are important to my wellness. Sometimes that means I spend the day focused on my own needs instead of work, family or fun. Sometimes that means I can mix it all up. But the important thing is to never give up when the unexpected happens.

It’s okay to end your day differently than you expected, leaving things still to be done. Don’t get frustrated because your house needs to be vacuumed and you don’t have the energy to do it at the moment. I don’t know of anyone with an un-vacuumed house that has stopped the world from existing thus ending civilization as we know it. Your day will go on and the vacuuming can wait for another day. The same goes for laundry.

Choose the important things in life to be your focus rather than the things of little importance. I’ve learned that many of the things that I thought were important really weren’t. Use your time wisely and know that YOU are what’s important, not what you can or cannot do.

And never forget, even the greatest gymnast in the world falls off the balance beam from time to time so don’t stress out when your emotions get the best of you and you become overwhelmed with everything happening around you. Just take a deep breath, get back up and keep trying. Don’t hold onto the stress that comes with all the daily unexpected moments. Instead, hold onto the smiles you find in the moment and keep going. You got this!