Yes, multiple sclerosis is painful
Living in a constant state of pain is grueling, exhausting and tough… really tough. Someone who hasn’t been in that position will never grasp how difficult it actually is to function during a time of blinding pain, no matter how much you try to explain it to them. There is just no way to put that kind of thing into words.
When pain becomes that overwhelming, you find yourself creating your own methods of mind over matter to try and cope. Sometimes they work, but sometimes the pain becomes so intense that you can’t seem to find any coping mechanism to bring relief. That’s when the tears flow, the mood swings happen and you pray with all the strength you have left inside of you hoping that everything will simply stop spinning out of control.
That has been my world these past few days. The pain has been so intense that I found myself hibernating… more for my own sanity than anything else. I know my fuse can be short when my body is screaming at me with that much intensity. I’m fighting my body every second of the day. I wouldn’t want anyone to be on the receiving end of a faulty mood swing during an I’m-trying-to-cope moment in my life.
Now don’t get me wrong, I truly am a wonderful, nice, calm person… but when I’m hit with excruciating pain that just won’t let up or stop, the monster hidden deep inside of me rises up. I would never be cruel, but I am more apt to say something that might hurt someone’s feelings. And I wouldn’t want to do that.
For me some one the pain is due to spasticity. When my muscles tighten up and won’t release. Even muscle relaxers don’t always work for that. My hands hurt trying to function. Even typing this seems like an impossibility so I hunt and peck the words out. Other pain is from horrible migraines. The worse headaches I have ever had happen all because of multiple sclerosis. And other pain is due to my body just hurting.
Anyone who says people living with MS don’t experience pain, is full of it. Oh, how I would love to give that person a glimpse into just how painful it can be. Some of those people happen to be doctors and medical professionals who think they know what they are talking about. Here’s a news flash… THEY DON’T! MS hurts.
Although the pain is horribly unbearable, I find that somehow the strength I need to push through during those times comes. I eventually get through it and I gain deeper compassion for others facing similar times of pain in the process. It’s not easy. That’s for sure.
Before MS, I really didn’t get it. Life wasn’t as meaningful or as precious to me as it is now. I took way too many things for granted: people, a good job, strong friendships, laughter, and the freedom to do just about anything I wanted to do and go anywhere I wanted to go.
Now, because of MS, I live my life in a constant state of uncertainty and pain. Physical pain and emotional pain. Yet now I find myself savoring every memory and moment I have… even the painful ones. I no longer take life for granted. I value each day, each sunrise, each raindrop, each tear.
There’s no time for petty arguments or silly whining. There’s no point in trying to one up someone just to make myself feel important. There’s no need for meaningless relationships or power struggles. Each moment I’m given, each person I meet, they’re a gift I’ve been given and something I shouldn’t waste or toss aside.
Savor life. Enjoy every moment. Live today regardless of how terribly tough it may be. You are here and alive for a reason. You matter. You have a purpose. You are loved, valuable and someone that I’m thankful to call friend.
You are a survivor and a precious MS fighter. You are truly an amazing person. Never forget that, even when you are in pain.
1. Simplify your life.
This is exectly how it is.
Well done
Thanks… it’s terrible. ugh xoxo
oh penelope, my heart is sad for you- tears. you typing this post while in so much pain proves your the queen of determination. i pray that your pain will subside soon xoxo
Thanks bunny. hugs. xoxo
It’s too harsh..I can’t bear this maladie
I understand. xoxo hugs
Oh Dear Penelope, I’m so sorry you are in such horrible pain today! My prayer is that it subsides, you are able to get rest, relief and renew! Thank you for telling it like it is….the good, bad and ugly! Blessings!
Thanks Chris… xoxo.
Sorry you have to go through so much pain, Penelope. I pray it will ease off for you immediately, and that you got medication to soothe all of your pains. I am not sure why you of all people are so tortured with symptoms and side effects, while for me my MS is bearable most of the times. Yes, I do experience MS-Hugs, and migraines, but they happen mostly at evening and night times, and I have pain relievers and opiates to fight them. At times I hold and press my fiance’s hand all night long… as if that would help any, but I know I’m fighting through the pain attack with him. I wish that for you too, that you don’t have to deal with the fu**ing MS all alone. And I’m happy you’re sharing your down times with us, maybe it makes you feel better that there are people/MSers out there that can relate, even if we not really can. I feel for you, and I hope our words can heal your pains a little, tiny bit? Love and hugs from abroad. Regina
What a great fiancé… he’s a keeper. Thanks for your encouragement. xoxo
Penelope, sending you hugs and strength. You’ve penned a perfect article. I 100% understand. I am on Hospice Home Care bc they are the only ones in medicine that will even kind of listen to me and prescribe rx for pain. MS is so belittling. I cry so much from pain, I could fill an ocean.
Sending you hugs and believing for a better day for you than expected… hugs xoxo
WOW you seriously nail it again today 🙂 The pain is unbeatable at times even my skin hurts to be touched, my muscles actually feel so bruised!!! I’m so sorry Penelope you have to go thru this!! 🙁
I just keep knowing that God loves us so much to allow us to suffer and then I think not too many people can suffer like we do and it pushes me harder to be a SUPER STRONG KICK BUTT MS WARRIOR who cannot be stopped!!!!!!! 🙂 You defiantly ROCK Penelope 🙂 🙂 🙂
I agree… It pushes me harder too! You are the best. hugs xoxo
You have got it so right, especially the muscle spasms. You tell it exactly how it is thank you
Thanks xoxo Hugs are coming your way… gentle hugs!
Reading this and comments left by other readers is somewhat of a comforting feeling knowing that I’m not the only one.
BUT, Besides actual physical pain that some MSers experience, there is the pain of solitude and loneliness as MS progresses and able bodied friends & family carry on without us.
Sad, but true for so many people with disabilities and not just those with MS.
As always, Thank you Penelope.
I’m glad none of us are alone! Sending hugs your way.
Well put!