Living with a disability in an uncaring world
There are all kinds of people in this world. Some will help you along the way while others will attempt to push boulders in your path. Living with a disability is not always easy. I have met the rude, uncaring type who watch as I struggle to open a heavy door rather than stepping in to help and the ones that choose to give me the death stare as I pull into the disabled parking spot at the grocery store only to turn away (hopefully in shame) as soon as they see me wheel my way out of my van in a powerchair.
But some of my disability is not visible. Most isn’t. People don’t see my pain, cognitive problems, bladder and bowel issues, unrelenting fatigue, spasticity, numbness, and so the many other unseen multiple sclerosis issues I deal with. I have had people give me cures such as physical therapy classes, prayer, and positive thinking to fix me. All of these things have benefits, but they will not cure my disability.
I have difficulties getting ready in the morning. I often struggle to button things, even simple things. I use a button gadget to help out for shirts and pants if I’m wearing anything other than sweats and t-shirts. I also struggle to put on my socks, open jars and even easy-to-open packages. They can all be a challenge for me.
I’m thankful that I can still drive with a modified van for my powerchair so I can drive from my wheelchair, but even now I question my vision and slower response to traffic. I always take the back roads and navigate around busy areas because I don’t trust my own response time to sudden braking.
Everything is a response to how others are choosing to live around the disabled. It’s sad really, that we as a society have become such critical, judgmental, selfish and uncaring people. That the disabled are invisible in their eyes. It can be seen everywhere you turn.
So, how do you function as a person with a disability in a world that cares more for itself than others? What do you do when people are rude? Mean? Angry? Do you respond in the same way as them…rudeness for rudeness? Hate for hate? Anger for anger?
That seems like the easy way, doesn’t it? It’s easy to throw out a few hurtful words in response to someones mean-spirited actions or words. But just because it’s easy doesn’t mean it’s the right thing to do.
How people act is not about you – it’s all about them. You can tell a lot about a person just by watching what they do, how they act, and what they say. But how you respond, that’s all you. Don’t let people’s wrongful, uncaring and bigoted actions cause you to stoop to their level. You are better than that. I know you don’t feel like it at times, but you are.
It takes all kinds of people to teach us how to become a person of character. Character is created through the struggles we face. It’s not something we are born with.
Today, if you are met with a challenge from someone’s rude and insensitive behavior, take a deep breath, allow your emotions to calm down, then respond as a person of character rather than being just like them. You be the bigger person…the better person. Show them, and yourself, that even though you have a disability, you are better than they are. You are greatness. You are more able-bodied than them.
Take the high road and leave them behind you in the dust of their own constructed chaos. Instead of wrestling with pigs, you’ll be soaring with eagles.
1. Simplify your life.
Thank you for being you. Hope one day we can meet on the High Road for coffee and chocolate cake.
Be well.
Carla B
That would be awesome. Would love it. xoxo
Oh Penelope you have no idea how I needed this tonight!!! Oh today was a horrendous day being yelled at and shouted at can really drive a person insane… I know I must fly with the eagles and NOT wrestle with the pigs!!!!!!! Just hard some times but with my gal Penelope at my side I can soar with the eagles!!! :). You really do rock my fellow WARRIOR 🙂
Thank you so much for being you and posting it 🙂 🙂 🙂
Thanks you so much Tiffany. I need the reminder myself… thanks for giving me the reminder. xoxo
O understand the driving issues and gave up. My husband drives my handicapped van. When we bought it no adjustments for me driving. As you say I didn’t trust my abilities a jerking hand was not good for that!
Also try not scoop to the anger issue hate complaining as hubby does so much but there are times….
We’ve experienced that handicapped parking and looks until I roll wheelchair out! The worst experience was a person parking in the marked area so my ramp can’t be let down to get into it. Yes sadly it happen. I wanted fo back in store and have them call over intercom to move it our call cops tow! But husband’s Solution pull van out and I could get in at Parking lot away.
I wish I could have done my suggestion as they will continue doing it for another person like you that doesn’t have the option we did
I have experienced the same thing. I now will pull into my handicap space a little at an angle so there is no way anyone can pull into the space I need for my van ramp. I once had someone pull into the marked off parking for the ramp and I was stuck unable to lower my ramp. There was a kind gentleman that opted to back my van up which I knew would be difficult for him because there is no drivers seat since my powerchair is the seat. He did a great job and I was able to leave without too much trouble. But that’s why I pull into a space a bit crooked to keep someone from trying to park in a none spot thus blocking me. Ugh!
Thanks for your posts. I truly enjoy them. I’m sure you help many not feel alone.
It’s hard when people are rude.
I get so hot headed when people are rude.
Part of that is me and will never change.lol
However I am learning to focus on the kind ones.
They ern our best aditude.
I can’t let haters win so, I try and not get mad myself now.❤️