Life won’t be easy with MS but it’s worth it

When you get diagnosed with multiple sclerosis it seems like the world has come to an ended. For me it was something I knew nothing about. I had gone to the hospital because I couldn’t feel a good portion of my face, my vision was blurred and my right leg was going numb. I had an MRI and a spot was found on my brain that concerned the neurologist but he couldn’t determine what it was. He said I needed to be checked out in a few months to find out if I had a tumor or what was happening.

At that time I was in the middle of moving to Florida so I was hoping it was something that would just go away and my move would be uneventful. When I got to Florida it was 3 days later and I had lost vision in my left eye, was in a constant state of vertigo, the numbness of my right left was significant and had migrated to my right arm, was in the beginning stages of an MS hug and my world was coming to an end for sure.

I called a neurologist as soon as I arrived in Florida and amazingly they had an opening for me to come in. A second set of MRIs were done along with a spinal tap and a few days later the neurologist had the results. He sat down with me and said, the MRI shows over 6 spots in the brain and over 10 in the spine. I’m sorry to tell you but, you have multiple sclerosis.

I wasn’t given any information from the neurologist about what MS is, what can be done about it, NOTHING other than he said to me, “You will probably have a benign case.” What? Then he said, we will start you on Rebif and see how things go as we try to slow the progression down. That was that.

I was left on my own to figure things out and because I went to the doctor by myself I didn’t know what to ask or what to do. It was such a horrible feeling to do everything by myself. I left in a whirlwind and numb to the core.

Afterwards I dedicated myself to digging for answers and empowered myself through asking tons of questions even the hard hitting questions. After going to support groups and leaving feeling worse than when I arrived, I decided to reach out to others online with encouragement and my own odd sense of sarcastic humor rather than doctor speak and AA meeting type get togethers. I figured if I’m feeling lost and out of place then others may be too and we all just need to know that we aren’t alone. That was 10 years ago and although MS was well known, it wasn’t known enough by the public or even the doctors that are helping people with MS to cope.

It’s true that life won’t be easy afterwards. I prayed a lot and cried a lot but I made it through with a strength I never knew I had. Isn’t that weird how that happens? You don’t know you have something until you need it… and then, there it is.

You can get through anything life throws at you. I know you can. When everything crumbles down it give you a chance to build something spectacular out of the ashes. I guess the whole world is made up of things coming together and things falling apart. You never know what you may have. You may have beauty in the midst of your ashes.

Don’t lock yourself up distancing yourself from others. It seems like that would be the easy way to do things… to just shut yourself up and pull away. That’s our natural defense mechanism as humans. We build walls to protect our heart, but in the end, we find that the very walls we build are actually keeping away the people we need most.

Take a sledge hammer to that wall, start chiseling away at the concrete even if it will only remove one brick. Keep chiseling one brick at a time. That’s progress in the making.

Reach outside of yourself and do something for others. I find that when I am helping someone else in need, I forget about my own needs. It almost makes my struggle seem not so big. So, my challenge to you is to step out and touch someone. Do something to give back to others. Find a place where you can volunteer – a cause or an organization you believe in – and give all that you can of yourself, your talents, your time.

Sometimes we just need to step out of our own pain to realize that everyone has pain, and some are struggling even more than you are. A change in perspective can be the very thing that begins crumbling the walls and opening your life for a new found hope for tomorrow.