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I’m not okay and that’s okay

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In a fast-paced world where abilities are praised and feeling inadequate or anything less than great almost always gets swept under the rug (or even frowned upon), it’s so easy to look at the next person and presume that they’re doing fine. In reality, we all have days when we aren’t feeling our best. Sometimes we just need to be reminded that it’s OK to take a step back and ask for help, to get support lifting the weight off our shoulders due to living with a chronic illness.

I wish I had a magic wand to make multiple sclerosis go away. To make the stress of living day in and day out with MS easier. To make carrying the huge burden it causes in your life lighter. To give back the time you’ve lost due to illness, unexpected disabilities, doctors appointments and endless worrying. No one likes living with pain, spasms, dizziness, fatigue, relentless headaches or even trying to manage the unknown daily. If you’re like me, you just want a moment of peace, reprieve, and a sense of calm.

When my friend was feeling her worst, I would tell silly jokes and send her stupid memes. I would do whatever I could to take her mind off of the situation. She needed to know that a good laugh could go a long way, whether she was healthy or sick. It is important to try and understand a sick person’s emotional state. Sometimes they don’t have an appetite to eat their favorite foods, they can’t sleep soundly at night or they aren’t as cheerful. These are common feelings a person with MS experiences.

I take comfort in knowing I am not alone in these feelings. We all feel detached, sad or even angry. Finding something to give you a little lift can help you remember that life isn’t always bad.

When I was young, I was taught that life is fun and should be lived to the fullest – one that must be filled with happiness. But as I grew older, I learned that life is not always easy. It becomes a battlefield we have to endure just to survive.

Some days, things don’t happen the way you want them to. They fall apart, and you start to worry. Worse, you feel discouraged and lonely, thinking that there is no other way to straighten things out. Life can pummel you with disappointments, challenges, and heartache, and your mood can easily shift from light-hearted to heavy-laden. You feel there is no hope for a better life.

I want you to know that it’s okay not to feel okay. It’s important when all hope is lost, to redirect your thoughts into a more positive, motivated and centered headspace once again. When you do, you find hope peaking out. Sure, it’s just words, but they’re positive words. And if you’re on the verge of giving up or struggling to push yourself to the next level, sometimes that’s just what you need. All you have to do is keep moving forward, even when it feels like it would be easier to just lay down and give up.

Today, be determined to see blessings in the midst of things that seem like burdens. Lift your spirits and turn things around. For future reference, I never get tired of giving out hugs, encouraging words, tough love or even smiles.

Make the best of life when it throws lemons at you

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It’s really nice when my couch lets me out of the house. I try to spend time outside on nice days. Not a lot of time, especially if it’s hot out, but right now it’s still cool in the mornings so that’s always a pleasant time for me. Yesterday, I was able to get out and enjoy a bit of sunshine which was a nice welcomed treat for me.

As I was sitting on my back patio, I noticed lots of new flowers starting to bloom. There was a sweet smell of honeysuckle in the air and the birds were singing their songs from high up in the trees. Everything seemed alive. There was no traffic, no busy people, no distractions, just a calm and peaceful morning for me to enjoy.

I noticed one flower in particular that looked somewhat out of place tucked away in the corner of the yard, but amazingly beautiful with a brilliant mixture of red and orange colors. Maybe it was the way the morning breeze was blowing against the flower’s pedals or maybe it was just my imagination, but I am almost sure that I saw that flower stand taller as I watched it. It seemed to square its shoulders back and hold its head high as if to say, “Good morning, I’m glad you’re here!”

The thing that made this flower’s beauty stand out more than anything else in the yard was the fact that it was growing right in the middle of a compost pile…forgotten and alone…sitting in a pile of broken down waste and scraps.

Have you ever heard the saying “bloom where you’re planted?” Well, this flower was doing just that. It could have decided that life was simply too hard and given up on ever becoming anything of use, it could have decided to bury itself even deeper into the compost pile and hidden itself away forever, it could have decided to keep its beauty from ever being seen by me or anyone else, but this flower was determined to shine…and shine it did.

That flower decided to push its way through all the crap it was given and become a thing of beauty regardless of where it was stuck in life. No one but me, a few birds that were fluttering about in the trees nearby, and maybe a worm or two saw its beauty, but if only for us, it fulfilled its purpose! That one flower gave me a smile. It made a difference.

You may feel like that flower today, like you’re stuck in a stinky, smelly, horrific pile of crap, yet no matter how ugly or smelly things may be in your life, all that junk has an incredible way of producing amazing things of beauty. It may look like garbage to you, but to me, I see something incredible. I see a beautiful you in the making. I see a strength rising up that says just watch me shine…I’m going to make it.

Don’t lose hope. There is still a lot of good to come from your life. You are very much needed. You are not a mess. Because of you, someone’s day will be brighter. They will see you making it even though you’re in the middle of an impossibility and be encouraged by your strength. It’s time to square your shoulders back and hold your head up high. Don’t underestimate your value. Make the best of life when it throws lemons at you and show the world just how amazing you really are.