When did society stop caring for the sick?
My biggest pet peeve is people who say one thing and then either do the exact opposite or nothing at all and prove themself to be untrustworthy. I’m finding it harder and harder to believe people will do what they say they will do…unless they are getting a paycheck in return (and even then they are not always trustworthy).
It’s sad really. As my health declines, my circle of friends have decreased with it. It seems that happens to everyone I talk to when it comes to living with a chronic illness. It’s easy to commit to helping someone for a month or two, but anything longer than that you become a burden to them and they find other things to take up their time.
When did society stop caring for the sick? It’s easy for someone to post a status online saying how much they care about others or share a cute picture of cats as well as ones of a beautiful flower garden to say they care, but to actually get their hands dirty and physically do something is waining. You just don’t see that happening much anymore.
People seem to want the recognition by the masses. They want the press coverage and plaques of achievement hanging on their wall to show off their accomplishments and prove that they care for others. I’m just sitting here at home needing my trash taken out and can offer a hug in return. Not much. But a hug will last much longer than any 15 minutes of fame. After all, a hug is eternal.
I am pretty good at faking being okay for a few hours if someone were to stop by to visit or I needed to go to the store. Make-up and hairspray does wonders. But come live with me for just a day and you will see how tough life with MS actually is.
Don’t just assume because I’m silent, that I’m okay. Most of the time I get tired of always asking people for help and getting excuses in return. That’s why I simply quit asking. Sure, you can fault me for that. I should be more persistent in voicing my needs. But the flip side to that is when I am persistent, I get a defensive response that basically becomes an “I’m sorry I can’t help you today, I’m busy” reply.
My advice: Hang onto those that have proven their word time and time again. Shower them with thanks and gratitude as often as you can so they know that their work and help is needed, valued and appreciated. Get creative and come up with a back-up plan for all the other people that disappoint you.
You might think you aren’t hurting enough. That there are people worse off than you and have been through more struggles. You may even think your story isn’t significant enough when you compare it to others and then the thought comes to your mind that people will think you are just seeking attention.
There is no measurement for pain, hurt and loneliness. No matter where you are in your story or what it looks like, it means something. Your pain is important because it’s yours. Your story can help other people continue their stories as well. Yes, all pain is different but there are things that we all share when the darkness comes and we feel hopeless.
At times you may even find yourself in a place where your thoughts fight back at you more viciously than they ever did before. Where you think and feel too much and just want to be numb to it all and left alone.
I want you to know that you are valued.
You are important.
You exist.
You breathe.
You love.
You fight.
You hurt.
You feel.
And because of everything, because you are here in this world, you matter.
Never let other people’s actions keep you from knowing how amazingly incredible you really are. You truly are an beautiful person and not a burden. You may be living with an incurable, unrelenting, horrible disease, but you are AWESOME!
1. Simplify your life.
hello. i hope the installation of your electric chair is almost completed.
yeah we definitely lose “friends”along our MS journey. true colors come out- so be it. makes me feel even more blessed for the people who have stuck by me. thank you for the pep talk- always appreciated.
you’re amazing, caring, loving and real… thank you XOXO
Yes my chair is still getting work done to it due to parts needing to be switched out. Today the proper sized foot plate it being put on. I have a long foot and the current plate is only 8 inches long. That doesn’t work for a 11/12 inch foot. 🙂
oh what wonderful news!!
i’m so happy for you .
thank you for the update.
i have a size 10 foot lol
sending prayers
It’s amazing what I’ve witnessed in my 20 years with MS. I will never forget when I had to use my walker to make my last stop of a laundry list of errands I had to do one day. I was exhausted and opening the door to the convience store used the last of my “spoons”. As I entered, I noticed three grown men standing, playing their lottery games, laughing and watching me struggle with this clunker of a walker. I brushed their less than chivelrous attiudes aside and went for my purchase. As I entered the checkout line, I noticed a boy (probably 10yo) and his mother in front of me. What a wonderful and perceptive mother she was as not only did she offer to purchase my small item but her son held the door open for me as I exited. At some level I do expect some level of basic human acknowledgement when someone is in need of help. It’s a moment I haven’t forgotten. Thanks for letting me share and great advice!
Thanks for this penelope. I hope you never forget how amazing you are and how many people you are helping to find hope and understanding. This post brought me to tears. I feel I have lost all my friends since my diagnosis. Whilst ive made new ones I dont always feel comfortable asing for helping. Mainly because my own siblings are those people who are ‘too busy to help’ Thanks for this post. Its good to know we are not alone. I have met some amazing people in life but most of them are busy and distracted with their own issues. Unfortunately people wont get it unless they ‘get it'(ms) which id never wish on anyone.
Thanks for this beautiful website. I cant always review the emails due to cognitive fatigue but I love every one
You’re an incredible person, and it saddens me that your circle of friends is shrinking. This post makes me think yet again of my incredible husband who patiently sticks with me. I have one close friend now who has advanced Parkinson’s, so she understands.
It also saddens me that we are losing our basic humanity in this world. I’m so grateful when I see signs of common decency.