When Fatigue Shows Up Uninvited

Have you ever had every intention of getting something done before the day was over, only for it not to happen? I’m a pro at that. I can put something at the top of my to-do list, set a phone alert to remind me, and still end up so exhausted that I barely have the energy to lift my arms—or even my head. Whatever was on the list simply isn’t getting done.

That happened yesterday. I had plans to clean the bathroom and take out the trash. Both seem simple enough, right? They are—until fatigue decides to pay me a visit.

Once fatigue shows up, you can forget about me getting anything done. It’s one of the most unwelcome guests in my life, second only to multiple sclerosis itself. Fatigue can strike early in the morning (sometimes as soon as I open my eyes), after my shower, partway through the day, or even in the middle of an important task. Its schedule is completely random, and it has no intention of sharing the itinerary with me.

I’ve had to learn to go with the flow on a daily basis. That’s not always easy, but it’s necessary if I’m going to make it through the chaos that surrounds me. One thing MS has done is teach me to value life far more than I ever did before and not take things—like being able to work—for granted. Work used to be my passion. Now that my career is a thing of the past, living has become my new one.

MS changed things. It made life more difficult in some ways, but it also gave me a different perspective. I see how precious each day is, how special the people who care are, and how short life can actually be.

I woke up this morning to a new day. My phone reminders are ready with a few things I need to get done, but I’m okay if I have to shift things around—or if I fall asleep and miss out on everything. Life is too short to get caught up in the land of to-dos.

Instead, I’ve made a to-don’t list. For me, it’s made life with MS so much easier to manage:

• Don’t hide your struggle.
• Don’t try to conquer everything all at once.
• Don’t dwell on what could have, should have, or would have been.
• Don’t let stupid things get to you.
• Don’t hold onto hate.
• Don’t place irrational conditions on your day.
• Don’t neglect the people who have stuck around.
• Don’t cry over spilled milk.
• Don’t forget to find reasons to smile.
• Don’t compare your journey with others.
• Don’t take anything for granted.
• Don’t lose your sense of humor.
• Don’t worry so much.
• Don’t wait for the perfect timing.
• Don’t give up.

This list doesn’t erase the fatigue or the hard days, but it helps me show up for the life I actually have—messy, unpredictable, and still worth living. Some days that means checking things off. Other days it means letting the list go and simply getting through. Both count.