A monster called multiple sclerosis
Growing up I remember being afraid of monsters. They lived under my bed and were going to eat me. I had to make sure not to hang my feet or hands over the side of my bed while I slept. Somehow my magic blanket protected me. It seems monsters are afraid of blankets.
As a grown up, my monsters changed. They still try to scare me but in different ways. I have to be sure to keep my heart and mind protected from their scare tactics. That’s where they try to gain control over me.
Fear is a powerful thing. It can paralyze you and steal your peace. I found the biggest thing when it comes to monsters is to be careful in how you look at them. The monster called multiple sclerosis had crept into my life and tried every tactic it could to scare me and keep me from living.
What if I end up in a wheelchair? What if I die early? What about all the pain and uncomfortable moments that will happen? So many unanswered question that have a potential of scaring anyone living with a chronic illness. But the what if’s aren’t guaranteed and most of the time they don’t happen as bad as thought or even at all.
At first fear was good at keeping me from doing things that could hurt me but then I realized I was able to do more than I thought. The only voice I should be listening to is the one in my own heart. No more shadowy whispers or monster growls to keep me from doing things or from being myself.
Haven’t we all allowed fear, at one time or another, to become bigger than the reality of life itself? As a child, I allowed fear to take from me, but what was I truly afraid of? A monster, a shadow? Really?
There’s always going to be monsters in this world. It doesn’t matter where you are or what you’re facing but I promised myself I would never let monsters scare the life out of me again. And that’s how I live my life. Just remember that it’s ok to be sad and it’s okay to be afraid.
I still catch myself thinking, “There is always tomorrow. And what will tomorrow bring? Will it have monsters and creatures and scary shadows?” I can’t tell you what tomorrow will bring… but tomorrow doesn’t have to be scary when hope is lighting the way.
1. Simplify your life.
I love this! Hope does light the way! It is what gets us through the day! That was a great way to start my morning. Thank you for always knowing what to say!
Thanks Vicky. 🙂
the last sentence in your post says it all. i got choked up…
its a beautiful reminder to live in the moment.
☺️Living in the moments when they come and when your words remind us at just the “right moment”.
Thank goodness for you, Penelope and your gifts that you share with us with your writing.
I never thought the day would come I’d end up in a wheelchair I fought against it for a long time but one day I fell over was taken to hospital where I stayed for two weeks the only way I could get out was to use a wheelchair No I’m not happy but at least I can still go out visit friends even go shopping so I’m learning to live with it x Never give up Stay positive even when you feel like sh## x
Definitely the what ifs can be big monsters. Creating fears that paralyze us from living our best. Thankful for the better days without the constant fear. Hope for brighter days ….. yes!
Well said! For me it was a witch that was under my bed or in the closet and had to be careful not to drape my hands over. I convinced that witch is now MS and somewhere I can’t imagine that she is having fun attacks different areas of my body at different times. Putting me in wheelchair but I the worst is this trigeminal nerve PAIN