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My night of sleep… yes, I said sleep

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Emerging data suggests that extending a nightly sleep duration of people who habitually get insufficient sleep is associated with health benefits. My doctor has changed the dosage of Trazodone that I take to help me sleep at night because I told her the previous amount wasn’t helping as it did at first. Amazingly enough the higher dosage did help me get better sleep last night.

I was so deep in sleep that I had a dream a friend was over at my house. We were talking and I told her I needed to excuse myself because I had to go to the bathroom. Keep in mind I’m still asleep. In my dream I was on the toilet and attempting to empty my bowels.

That’s normally not an easy task when I’m awake even with a daily intake of stool softeners. I was using my abs to attempt to push hard… while asleep. That’s the only muscle group that works for me to empty my bowels. I even told my doctor I have washboard abs now all because of it.

Thankfully,  I woke up realizing I wasn’t on the toilet and hadn’t push hard enough to get anything out yet. I transferred to my power chair, made my way to the bathroom and barely got there in enough time to do my business without making a mess. Phew…

That was a close call. We’ll see how things go in the days ahead and if the higher dose works without any further dream issues. I sure hope it does. I really need all the rest I can get. I much prefer sleep to chronic insomnia.

Healthy sleep is important for cognitive function, emotion regulation, physical development, and a better quality of life. Considering I’m a person living with multiple sclerosis, it’s imperative to have a good developing immune system.

Sleep is incredibly effective at helping repair the day-to-day cellular injury that happens, but most people don’t get the amount of high-quality sleep needed to do so. Its impact on the nervous system works best when we’re asleep doing the vital work needed to keep our cells thriving, but you can also get tremendous benefits from other types of rest as well.

If you’ve ever found yourself feeling blissfully calm during a massage, drifting in and out of consciousness while meditating or praying, breathing slowly and rhythmically while reading a book, or pleasantly lost in thought while on a walk in nature, you’ve experienced a sense of deep rest.

The process of sweeping away and recycling old or damaged cellular material truly helps rebuild new cells and minimizes inflammation levels throughout the body. I like the thought of that. So if a medication will help me to get that rest, I’m all in for it. I’ll let you know how things go in the days to come.

Incontinence… ain’t nobody got time for that!

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Have you heard about the adult diaper spas that have opened in the UK and the USA. Yes, you read that right. It’s a place to nurture and pamper diaper lovers and enthusiasts. It actually caters to people with a psycological disorder that’s been growing among adults over 21.

Sorry, but I don’t see the fun or joy in having to wear a diaper because my bladder or bowels aren’t working correctly. Yes, I have had problems with bedwetting before… but the previous time was when I was five years old!

When I was in the hospital last year I wasn’t able to make it to the bathroom on my own and my bowels were like clockwork. I had to go every morning by 6 am but since I couldn’t get out of bed on my own I wore an adult diaper and the nurse had to clean me up because I made a mess. Two weeks of diaper changing was enough for me.

I was in the hospital to have my bladder removed. For about 7 years I had used a suprapubic catheter (SPC) for bladder incontinence. The catheter was placed in my bladder to help empty my urine but the SPC wasn’t working well for me and of all things it was painful. I had bladder stones that were causing me problems and blocking the flow. When the urologist had recommended removing my bladder entirely I was a bit nervous, but excited as well about the concept. I thought, this will make my life a bit easier to manage than it has been. I’m ready for anything that will help me out.

When I finally got home from the hospital after my bladder was removed, I was able to manage things on my own and so happy. It’s been a year and I believe it was one of the best changes for me since my MS diagnosis over 10 years ago dealing with continued incontinence troubles. I now have a pouch I wear on a stoma the doctor created for my bladder. The pouch is my makeshift bladder and sits outside of my belly area near my belly button. I replace the pouch about every 3 to 5 days but empty it as often as needed like you would a normal bladder. No more issues with trying to hold my bladder and making a beeline to the toilet.

I have to say laughter is the best medicine unless you are dealing with incontinence. I had a feeling of relief knowing that I wasn’t the only one who leaked a little when I sneezed, moved around, or coughed. I wasn’t the only one that had to change their clothes after misjudging their bladder timing.

There’s nothing wrong with finding humor in the uncomfortable aspects of life. Certainly leaking pee is something that happens to many people with multiple sclerosis and although there are certainly degrees of it where some find it obviously debilitating, others just find it annoying. There’s nothing to be ashamed of when it comes to having a badder that rebels. Humor really does help. I talk with people a lot about incontinency. I just can’t hold it in. (grin)

Even if your experience isn’t that bad like it only happens once in a while or it doesn’t disrupt your life very much, there are still reasons to address it. The good news is that it’s never too late to strengthen your pelvic floor. Ask your doctor about it or even your physical therapist about which exercises help. I wasn’t able to use those muscle but for many people doing pelvic exercises helps restore controlled use of the bladder.

Either way, just keep in mind that although there is nothing to be ashamed of when you leak pee, you are certainly far from alone. Will you make it to the bathroom in time? Depends! – they really do help. (Grin)

My muscles are freezing up with the weather

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When I woke up this morning and I truly felt awful. The worst I have felt in a long time. I sat on the side of the bed for about 15 minutes trying to determine if I could even make it to my powerchair. I finally transferred but then had difficulties in the bathroom just trying to brush my teeth. I was struggling to put toothpaste on my toothbrush. I didn’t have enough strength to squeeze a tube of toothpaste with my right hand while holing my bush in the left. I decided to sit in the shower on the shower chair and brush my teeth in there because I have a toothpaste dispenser that can do all the work for me. No shower… just a good tooth brushing.

Just that little bit of work was exhausting to me. And besides it has been below freezing here lately so I can’t move to do anything in the cold. My muscles are all stiff and not helping me out. With me trying to conserve money I don’t run the heat as often as I normal would run it to keep me warm. I’m actually sitting in my lift recliner right now under a heated blanket just to stay warmed up. Electric blankets are amazing.

My hands have been giving me a lot of trouble lately. The stiffness in them just makes everything a quadrillion times harder. I’ve been having a difficult time holding onto anything. My utensils, my coffee cup and even a sandwich. I was able to put together a PB&J but with difficulty. I spilled a jar of jam in the process. As soon as I was able to get some jam on a spoon it would fall off. When I tilted the jar I couldn’t keep the jar steady and it came off the counter crashing the floor. It made a mess that I didn’t want to clean up but knew it would become a sticky mess if I didn’t. By time it was cleaned up I was too tired to eat it. Ugh, such is my life with multiple sclerosis.

Even though my muscles are giving me troubles, my bowels are too. I normally try to use a product like miralax daily to help me out but haven’t had any around so I’m actually going to try a tablespoon of caster oil to help me out since I have some in the cabinet. I have been told that it will loosen things up quick… and by the way my belly feels right now, I know it will make everything better once things come out.

Those are the things people don’t like talking about, but they are real and affect more people then you realize. Oh, and my mom came by the other day and brought me a couple of jars of daily vitamins… the gummy kind. I wasn’t expecting it but it made my day so much brighter. She said she just saw them in Aldi and thought, “Hey I need some of these. Let me buy some for Penelope too.” She’s so great like that. What a blessing. I don’t know if people understand that something so small as a bottle of vitamins can really make a big difference. Anything people can do for others to put a smile on others faces matters.

What if we let people know that they are loved. Not by spending lots of money but by sending a card, writing a poem, sharing a meaningful song, or doing something unexpected. There’s so much we can do even with MS causing us trouble.

I’m sending you my own encouraging note this morning. Take this crazy MS life a day at a time. More than anything, I want you to know that you are always loved. It’s the only thing that really matters. There is so much ahead for you. I know life can be hard, but you are going to make it. Keep hoping for a better tomorrow because tomorrow things could be better. Never stop hoping, never stop trying, never stop believing, and never EVER give up.

MS bladder issues, when it rains it pours

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I don’t like days filled with constant surprises and uncertainties but living with multiple sclerosis is going to have its share of unpredictability. One day things could be going great, the next it could turn out to be an awful day. And sometimes it doesn’t even happen by days but by moments. Like Forrest Gump says, you never know what you are going to get… with a life of MS.

There are different things people can do for their bladder issues. It’s important to determine the type of urinary issue you have. Some deal with physical therapy learning ways to strengthen the muscles the bladder uses, there are medications to support incontinence, there are support devices that help train the bladder to properly function, but if those treatments aren’t working there are several surgical procedures that can treat the problem.

Ten years ago I had surgery to place a suprapubic catheter in my bladder to help aid in the emptying of my bladder. I no longer had muscle control of my bladder so I was unable to properly manage its usage. It took time to get used to but I was thankful for having it done. My bladder was finally able to be drained to an external bag rather than me peeing all over myself and life was great once again. It was a learning curve but it made life easier for me.

Over time my bladder had created stones causing drainage troubles. I had surgery to remove them but was still having bladder issues. The nurse was having difficulties each month removing the Foley catheter to replace with a new one. My body just seemed to think the catheter was a part of my bladder and would try to seal the opening making the removal each month painful due to it trying to attach itself to my body.

My urologist had suggested I have my bladder removed to alleviate the problems. After taking time to think about it and reading about having it done, I approved the surgery February of this year. It’s been 6 months and I’m so glad I had it done.

I had to learn how to attach my newly needed bladder pouching system which wasn’t too difficult to deal with. A stoma was created to properly drain the urine my body creates I just no longer have an internal bladder for it to empty into. My bladder is now an external pouch / bag. I just have to make sure I wait until early morning to change it out because that’s when I have better usage of my hands.

It can get comical when I try to change my pouching system after having a lot of liquids in my system. My stoma which controls my urine will shoot urine out in a quick stream and without the pouch in place it’s equivalent to me peeing on myself. I usual change it out in the shower so I can have a clean belly to work with. But like most people learn with their pouching system, it’s suggested to replace it while standing up so you can properly place it. But for me, that’s not possible.

My routine is to take a shower to clean myself up, dry myself off, place a dry washcloth over my stoma so if I pee out the cloth will catch it, put my robe on and transfer to my powerchair, make my way to the bed, get comfortable lying down on the bed, prepare my pouch to place on the stoma. Normally by that time I’m thankful I placed the washcloth over my stoma because I will have peed a little in the process of getting ready for the new pouch.

When I get the new pouch on, I’m ready for a nap but also thankful that I got it all done by myself… no nurse needed. Then I get dressed and normally make my way to the living room and rest on my new powerlift recliner. I normally have to change the pouch once every 4 days. Sometimes I can even go as long as 5 days before changing it out. But of course there are also time I have to change it much earlier due to not placing it properly and the pouch pulling loose from my belly much too early.

I know it sounds complicated, but what part of MS isn’t. I’m thankful I don’t have UTI’s anymore or pain like before with a Foley catheter so the pouch change is nothing compared to my issues before. I’m thankful for bladder surgery to remove my bladder. It’s not something for everyone, but it’s doable. As long as I can keep doing things one handed, I will be able manage it for a long time by myself. I’m too stubborn and independent to do it any other way.

Don’t give up hope on ways to manage your bladder issues. There’s always a solution. Maybe not the one you want, but one that will make life easier for your already complicated life. Bladder issues aren’t the end of your life and neither is MS. Talk with your urologist about things that may help you out. You got this.