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Whether you win or lose, at least you know who you are

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I actually struggle with a daily life of multiple sclerosis and all the unpredictable circumstances that threaten to overwhelm me. Some days I struggle just to get out of bed in the morning. Many times I don’t feel like doing the things I know I need to do which means they don’t get done. Lately for one reason or another MS has been winning the struggle.

Like yesterday I kept putting off taking my trash out and now I’m too tired to even think about it. My motivation just jumped out the window and I don’t even have the strength to chase it down. Before I go to bed tonight I have to take it out because trash pick up is tomorrow morning. We’ll see how well that goes. I wish I had little helpers for days like this.

It’s been below freezing temperatures here so I think that has something to do with it. My muscles just don’t work well with freezing temperatures. They have a tendency to seize up and getting them moving takes lots of extra work. Sometimes work that my body can’t seem to find strength for.

Discouragement sets in and rising above the funk is terribly hard to handle. I hate when my emotions get out of whack like that. It happens more than people would believe. I can go from laughing to crying in one second flat.

When I think about the circumstances, people, and events happening around me they are all manageable when I take them in little bits at a time. I have to be cautious so I don’t get overwhelmed. MS hasn’t changed, life around me has. I need to stay focused on what’s important, I need to look out for myself and I need to not feel guilty or get upset when things don’t go as planned.

I know that’s not easy. It actually takes a lot of hard work, but work that’s worth it. Next time you feel drained or emotionally out of whack, remember that you have a choice. You can wrap yourself up in excuses and self-pity, or you can choose to reach out of yourself and find the strength you need to keep going and rise above your circumstances. You’ve got it within you to do this. I believe in you. If I can do this… so can you!

You’ve made it this far in life with multiple sclerosis

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You’ve made it this far in life living with multiple sclerosis, so what makes you think you will fall short of your goals now? Whether they are goals of being able to care for yourself, goals of using your muscles to get around without burdening others, or goals of hanging on to sanity in a crazy mixed up world.

You have had your fair share of those who delight in foreseeing problems in your life because of MS. Those who actually enjoy criticizing any failures you’ve dealt with regardless of the cause, and freely voicing their opinions while dwelling in the comfortable safety of theory, unbelief and inactivity.

Words, words, and more worthless words have been used against you along your journey. When will you finally decide to believe in the beauty of who you are? When will you choose to laugh at all those silly careless words that have been spoken against you and toss those words away… rising above the shadows that loom in the distance?

If it is safety you want, then you will do far better by removing any distractions or obstacles in your way so you can follow your heart. Has experience not taught you this. Besides, warriors like us have always seen safety in a different light than those who try to make a living out of exploiting the disabled. Yes, those people do exist.

Laugh at the threats that come your way. Laugh and get on with enjoying your life. I do. Follow your heart and follow your dreams… you have great ones to follow.

I’m fighting a monster called multiple sclerosis

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I have learned more about myself than I ever thought possible because of a monster called multiple sclerosis.

I’m braver now even though I didn’t know MS existed in my life until I was in my 40’s. I fought through mind numbing pain, muscle weakness and tears. I fought it daily with a sword in my hand while yelling, “Hiyah!”.

I’m stronger now because I had to be. My choice was fight or give up, but I’m not a quitter. That’s just not a part of my DNA. So fight, I did. I learned how to use a cane, then a walker and now a wheelchair. I learned what foods benefit my body the most and what supplements help me to cope.

I’m happier now because I’ve discovered what really matters most in life. It’s crazy how that happens. You face down a beast like MS and discover a strength that you didn’t even know you had and that many things in life aren’t really that important anymore. Hold onto true friends and family, and let the other things go. You don’t need the extra baggage. It will only weigh you down and hold you back.

I stand taller, figuratively, because I am a survivor. Yes, there will be struggles and pain. There will be times I may be fearful of tomorrow or even of the next step I need to take, but I will push to the end and give it I’ve got.

Remember, you are not alone in this fight. The great Rocky Balboa said, “The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place and I don’t care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard ya hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward.”

Come fight with me.

Being thankful even with multiple sclerosis

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Being thankful when you’re hurting seems like an impossible thing to do. How in the world can anyone live a life of gratitude in the middle of a life of pain? You may be looking at everything happening in your life right now and thinking I’m crazy to even suggest such a thing. Being thankful with multiple sclerosis on top of everything else going on in life? Yeah, right!

When you look around all you see is pain and hard times. You can’t see anything worthy of thanks. Tears happen way more often than smiles. I get it. I understand how overwhelming and difficult it is to live a life of constant change and uncertainty.

Do this for me… take a moment, pause and look at your life. Look at everything you have come through over the years. You have faced circumstances that seemed impossible to others as well as yourself, but you made it through those times. You have walked through hell itself more than once. Most of those times you don’t want to relive, but as you look back you find things to give thanks for. After all, you endured and didn’t give up. The strength and wisdom you gained during those times are lessons worthy of thanks and gratitude.

Giving thanks when you’re hurting is something most people don’t want to do, just like most don’t want to go to the dentist for a root canal or start a new diet, but the rewards are worth it. You can’t give up hope and allow the weight of your current circumstances keep you from seeing that life is filled with more than just pain. It’s filled with beauty too.

Pain has a way of changing our lives for the good if we let it. It’s important to be thankful for the little things in life. What are you thankful for?