Tag Archive for: broken

Have you ever gone to the beach and taken time to truly examine the seashells that wash onto the beach? Some people are avid shell hunters and spend countless hours searching for the perfect ones. They are looking for beautiful coloration and formation. They don’t even contemplate collecting the broken ones, after all who wants a broken shell sitting on their coffee table?

But then you have people like me who enjoy going to the beach and stumbling across incredible little treasures along the shore. I pick up each shell that stands out to me as the waters ebb and flow over the sand. Some of the shells at first glance look like a perfect creation, yet once I bend down to pick them up, I find them to be a broken treasure instead. Those are my favorite kind and the ones I place in my pocket to take home.

I have a bowl full of broken shells that I have proudly displayed for anyone who comes over to see. Some of those shells are beautiful pieces that could be made into an exquisite piece of jewelry, but most of them are fragile and broken from years of life in rough waters. Some have lost their vibrant color, others have lost their outward beauty, and still others have allowed deposits from the ocean environment to leave a lasting mark on their surface. Each one is broken and yet each one is amazingly beautiful.

Just like those shells, some say that I’m broken. They look at me – at my past mistakes, burdens, heartaches, and even at the fact that I’m living with multiple sclerosis – and all they see are my cracks, scars and the shattered fragments of my life. But the most amazing thing happens when you hold me up to the light. Not only will you see my imperfections, but you will also see what makes me beautiful.

I admit that sometimes it takes everything I’ve got to simply get out of bed in the morning. Many times I don’t want to get up. I wake up before dawn and all the “stuff” I have to do, along with what I haven’t done and the problems that await me, comes crashing down and all I want to do is stay in bed and hide under the covers.

I take a deep breath and gather the strength I need and roll out of bed, sometimes even crawl, to start my day. It’s because of being broken that I am who I am…a battle weary warrior who has overcome much with unimaginable strength, determination and a refusal to give up.

You have cracks, scars and broken areas of your life too. The ups and downs you have experienced are real. Just because you are imperfect and living with a chronic disease doesn’t mean you are worthless. Each one of those things makes you uniquely you. You are not broken…you are a beautiful example of how someone can push through all the junk life throws their way and rise above it shinning brightly. You are not broken…you are beautifully YOU… scars, imperfections, wounds, bruises, cracks, and all.

As a kid people would ask me, “what do you want to be when you grow up?” My answer would change often, but I would mostly respond with Teacher, Scientist, Minister or Musician. Never once did I even think of saying I want to be a disabled person living with a chronic illness. That was never even a thought.

But now, after multiple sclerosis has come around, life is different. I’m no longer the invincible, untouchable kid I once was. I grew up and life became real.

You may see pictures of me smiling, but the truth is my nights are also spent crying. That’s right, MS isn’t the smiling face you see in those brochures or the victorious athlete crossing the finish line in those advertisements. It’s everyday people like you and me facing weakness, cognitive difficulties, bladder problems, tremors and numb body parts.

• I want the truth about MS to be seen by the world.
• I want to hear about people with MS that are facing hell, yet making it.
• I want to see the daily struggle MSers experience.
• I want to know about the problems, the large and the small.
• I want to meet the courageous, the brave, the unstoppable, the true warriors.
• I want to hear how lives are being lived in spite of a horrible disease.
• I want the world to know about the sleepless nights MSers face.
• I want to hear about the embarrassing moments that are endured.
• I want to know of the emotional chaos MSers go through every single day.

That’s real life with MS.

The world doesn’t need any more brochures covered in rainbows and smiles. Sure, we smile and enjoy life in spite of our disease, but there is a lot hidden behind our smiles that the world needs to know about.

To the advertisers, the drug companies, and the TV producers: Don’t cover up our struggle. We’ve been through too much, come through hell too many times, to have our battle scars hidden away just to make a few people more comfortable with the effects of MS. We aren’t comfortable so they shouldn’t be either.

To the doctors and nurses: remember that MS isn’t easy. That the things you say, the way you help, the care you give really does matter. That just a simple “I’m here to help you any way I can” matters. That listening to our tear filled emotional breakdown really does help. That even though you may feel helpless in coming up with a solution to ease our pain in the short time you see us, we face those same fears and feelings every moment of every day. Please be patient with us, your patients. Sometimes you are the only ones we talk to about what we are going through.

In a perfect world, MS wouldn’t exist. There would be no pain, fears, difficulties or struggles. But we live in a world filled with brokenness. It’s okay to cry, fall apart and actually feel afraid. That’s part of being human. That’s a part of living.

You are a warrior that may be weary in the fight, but even on your worst days you are still fighting. Never doubt, even for a minute, that you are special. You are amazingly special and incredibly important. Hold your head high today. You got this!

Dare to Be
When a new day begins, dare to smile gratefully.
When there is darkness, dare to be the first to shine a light.
When there is injustice, dare to be the first to condemn it.
When something seems difficult, dare to do it anyway.
When life seems to beat you down, dare to fight back.
When there seems to be no hope, dare to find some.
When you’re feeling tired, dare to keep going.
When times are tough, dare to be tougher.
When love hurts you, dare to love again.
When someone is hurting, dare to help them heal.
When another is lost, dare to help them find the way.
When a friend falls, dare to be the first to extend a hand.
When you cross paths with another, dare to make them smile.
When you feel great, dare to help someone else feel great too.
When the day has ended, dare to feel as you’ve done your best.
Dare to be the best you can –
At all times, Dare to be!
― Steve Maraboli